The Effortless Way

My move away from the Mormon church was more experiential than intellectual, so it has been difficult for me to explain my reasons for the change. In this post, I will explore one of the concepts that may have played a role. At some point in my new spiritual practice, I began to see that my old model of living life wasn't as effective as the new model I found.

Mormon theology teaches a nice balance between grace and works. In the words of the Book of Mormon Prophet Nephi, "it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do" (2 Nephi 25:23). Although grace is an important part of that teaching, when compared to Martin Luther's epiphany about grace, motivated by scriptures like Ephesians 2:8-9, "by grace are ye saved through faith ... not of works, lest any man should boast," it's clear that the LDS doctrine emphasizes works more than some other Christian, particularly Protestant, denominations. Because of this, I'll emphasize the insufficiency of the effort-based model. But I'll touch on grace a little bit too.

I recognized many years ago that overcoming pride was not something I could do through thinking about it. If I tried, I would only get stuck in a battle I couldn't win. Because I would be fighting myself. To be humble, I couldn't think my way into it. I couldn't get there through effort. I had to just be humble. I can't give you a formula for being humble. All I know is that it isn't through force of will that humility is realized.

Through meditation, I learned that this was true for many different aspects of life, not just pride. With Mormonism's focus on works, and being raised in American society, much of my religious and secular upbringing focused on effort. I came to believe that I could become anything I wanted if I just worked hard enough. While there is an element of truth in this idea, I have found this effort-based mental model to be expensive and ineffective.

Some years ago, I found great insight and healing through meditation. Part of this was learning to let go. Of everything. And as I began to let go - of preconceptions, judgments, presumed knowledge, etc, I found I could look at myself objectively and pierce the fog of mystery surrounding the core of who I am. I was able to penetrate the illusions I had built up about myself for years and, looking deeply without judging the experience, emotion, thought, memory, or whatever I was experiencing, I began to see the essence of the thing more clearly. And as I began to see, the thing I focused on began to lose its power and dissolve.

No effort. No force of will. No struggle to convince myself. Just a natural, simple, relatively effortless process of cleansing and healing.

Not that it was easy. It took courage to face my demons; and patience to let them show themselves in their own time. But though it wasn't easy, it was almost the opposite of effort. It was kind of like lining myself up with the flow of a river. It took a little work on my part, but it was mostly just me letting go and allowing the river carry me.

This process worked with pride, fear, shame, sorrow, loneliness, and more. All sorts of negative emotions and memories that got in the way of my spiritual progress. But also seemingly positive feelings like desire and attachment. We tend to think of these as happy because there's an element of excitement and potential growth in them. But hidden behind the excitement is a clinging and, sometimes, a fear of loss. I came to see these more clearly also and learned to let go of them.

Through meditation, I was able to achieve a deeper level of healing and more profound spiritual growth than what I found through decades of effort and solicitation of God's grace. So while I appreciate my religious upbringing, I believe the worldview I inherited is somehow lacking. I think I've found something better. And it doesn't rely on tradition, ritual, doctrine, creed, scripture, authority, or even God.

As a Mormon, I had been taught that the key to my salvation was in Jesus Christ. And maybe that's true. I mean no disrespect to the Christian religion, but I now believe that the key to my salvation was never "out there." It wasn't in any other person or external thing. My salvation was inside of me. And when I looked inward, deeply, I found it. No more looking outside (e.g. grace) for someone else to fix what's wrong with me. I had the power inside myself all along.

My conception of God, at least in the sense of an anthropomorphic being, may not have been involved in my healing process, but it is possible that God did play a role. I don't know who or what God is exactly. Perhaps God is that beautiful flow of life I sometimes sense inside of me. Maybe God is a part of me. Or I am a part of Him. Maybe God is the ocean I referred to in a recent blog post. And maybe He was just waiting for me to bring my attention inward sufficiently to unmask Him. To remove the shroud I had woven over the years that kept Him hidden from me.

No amount of effort from me or grace from God seemed able to remove the shroud. It was a part of me. I couldn't tear it off anymore than I could tear off a wound and expect it to be healed. It wasn't until a deep part of me recognized the shroud for what it was that it began to remove itself. The shroud was my ego. And as I began to transform, I came to see that this ego (a collection of memories, thoughts, feelings, etc), which I had always taken to be my self or my personality, was only an illusion. And through my awareness of it, it began to dissolve. I think this is what the Buddha meant when he talked about "no self".

My recent spiritual experiences have given me a deeper peace than I have ever known. And with fewer complications from my ego, my life, while still busy, has been simpler and more fulfilling in recent years than it had ever been before. I think I may now understand what Jesus meant when He said, "my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:30). I think the good life is an effortless one. Not lazy. Just effortless.

Paradoxically, the "effortless way" is not found without work. It takes practice to enter into a state of flow. There's a story that illustrates this beautifully.

Chuang Tzu tells a story about a butcher who became exceptional in his craft. After years of practice, he achieved a mastery of his profession in which all method dissolved and, when carving an ox, he intuitively felt his way through the animal, finding the spaces between the joints and cleaving the ox with very little effort. So efficient was he at finding these empty spaces that he said he had not sharpened his knife in 19 years. There was no need since the blade only ever encountered emptiness.

As a master butcher, he exerted very little effort in his craft, but he had studied and practiced for years before reaching that point. Whether the story is true is not important. The principle it teaches is that of alignment with the Tao, or the 'way.' Alignment with life or the universe. Alignment with what is. A unified state of being. Being in the flow. It takes practice to get there, but when we do, things become so much easier. Life is like the butcher's cleaving. Through alignment with reality, we become aware of the spaces through which we can exert a little influence to create significant change.

I've experienced that alignment at various times. I knew it through Mormonism. But I have found a more effective way to achieve it in meditation. As a result, I have experienced this 'flow' a number of times in the last few years. In this state, it seems like the entire universe conspires to bless me. Everything goes well. Even the things that don't seem desirable turn out to be beneficial.

Though I've only tasted this alignment a few times, I believe it is possible to feel it regularly. And the good life, or the effortless state, can become our daily experience.