Acceptance

Something that has brought me profound peace is the ability to quietly and gently accept the unacceptable. This is something I was not taught in my religion. In a world full of good and evil, with those forces led by God and the devil, with militant teachings (found in scripture and in the teachings of living leaders) about a spiritual war being waged for the souls of men -- how can one accept the opposing side?

I wasn't able to find my deepest peace fully through Christianity. I imagine there are those who can, but I could not. It was not until I gave up on the idea of evil that I was able to fully enter into the opposing side and find it populated with friends. By submitting to the universe tugging at me, I learned to accept the demons in my life, both inward and outward, and understand them better. I learned to see the world as a complex interplay of many types of forces, which, when balanced, create a beautiful, colorful tapestry of life.

It's not in battle that we find peace. It's in acceptance. And balance.

When I began to truly accept everything at a deep level, there was no more room in my mind for the concept of evil. And no room in my heart for anger or hatred. Without these, there was nothing left in my soul to foster conflict. And the natural result was a deep, abiding peace.

But without the concept of evil, what does sin mean? Without sin, why the need for a redeeming sacrifice by God's Son? This shift in my soul tore the foundation out from under Christianity for me. All that was left was love. And that seemed like enough.

So a few years ago, I walked away from the religion I had known and loved. And it was difficult. More difficult than I know how to describe. But it was the right choice for me.