And for the rest of you, here's my sanitized summary of the article and my thoughts on it. The author had gotten a parasite in her intestinal tract. It took a week or two before a doctor finally diagnosed her problem correctly. After vomiting for several weeks, her previously well-rounded body withered and she became pretty skinny. It was interesting to read her description of the increased attention she received from men after her massive weight loss. Equally interesting was the reduced attention she saw many months later as she slowly rounded out again. She posted plenty of pictures of herself, both skinny and large. I didn't see her as fat, but there was definitely a strong contrast between the two sizes. To me, she looked beautiful in both forms.
The drop-off in attention she reported was a bit sad, but predictable. I tend to think that American men's preference for skinny women is not completely biological. I think it's largely psychological and cultural. And I think it's unfortunate. But I also thought it was sad the way the author seemed to think that her skinny figure was somehow less than ideal. She spoke of looking like a child and thinking it strange that men found that attractive. She used stronger language than that, but you get the idea.
I have noticed a trend of women fighting back against society's emphasis on the ideal, thin figure of a woman. And I think that's mostly a healthy thing. But I think, in their rebellion, some women, thinking to have freed themselves, have continued their enslavement to the culture by allowing it to continue to dictate to them the battle lines. They may have switched sides, but they're still perpetuating the war. It's thin vs. fat. And if you disagree with society's fixation on skinny women, then you take the side of the fat women. But mocking the thin form won't help us win the war.
My wife, Emily, was an extremely skinny teenager. When we married, she was still incredibly thin. I was attracted to her, but even at that time, I remember thinking it wouldn't be a terrible thing for her to add a little weight. Since then, she and I have both gone through some weight fluctuations. After marriage, I gained about 60 pounds and later took most of it off. That's an interesting story too, but I'm focused on women's shapes here, so I'll summarize my experience by saying that Emily loved me when I was thin and she loved me when I got a little fatter. And that steadiness of support was really wonderful.
Emily has gone through some weight fluctuations too, but a little less drastic than mine. And those changes have been challenging for her psychologically. But the way her body has fleshed out in recent years makes her, in my view, incredibly beautiful. She was beautiful when she was thin. And she is beautiful now that she has more curves. She has a desire to lose a little weight. She's not too fat, in my opinion, but losing a few pounds would probably be a healthy thing to do. And I support her in that. She has made a little progress in the last few weeks and, as she succeeds, I will miss the extra curves a little. But she'll be beautiful in her new form too.
Thin vs. fat. This war, one of many, seems to be quietly raging in our society. But maybe the war is just stupid. And maybe the only way to win the war is not to fight it. Instead of fighting with each other over which modality is preferable, maybe we can change the way we see women on a fundamental level. Maybe we can begin to see them as just ... women. Just beautiful. And maybe, if we can do that, we can begin to raise our young women to be confident and happy in their skin. No matter what body shape they may have. Thinking of my own daughters, that seems like a really cool gift to give to our beautiful young girls.
