Epic Grand Canyon Trip

We went camping at the Grand Canyon with our two daughters and a friend of our youngest. We were invited by my sister and her family who were visiting the area from Seattle. We left Thursday and planned to come back Saturday. Today is Sunday.

View of the Grand Canyon at sunset

Here's a little bit of what happened on the trip. It was pretty epic, so I thought I'd better document it for posterity (and for your amusement). I've color-coded the positive and negative aspects of the trip for your reading pleasure.

• Our cooler broke on the drive to the canyon
• We saw a ton of elk near the campsite the first night - they were beautiful
• We later saw more elk, wild horses, and crows (one of which tried to eat our Cheerios box)
• We had a campfire Thursday night with extended family, s'mores, jokes, and songs accompanied by a ukulele
• The stars at night were incredible
• I haven't seen that many stars in the sky in years
• The first night, we went to find a bathroom after dark. We knew there was one near the registration area, so we hiked there only to find it was locked. On our way back, we got lost, thankfully stumbled on an open bathroom, and eventually found our way back to camp.
• There was wind and rain overnight
• Multiple bathroom breaks in the middle of the night were more fun with a little rain
• The car battery was dead in the morning - we still don't know why
• Friday was COLD and very windy
• The forecasted high for Friday was 67, but it probably didn't get above 47
• It's usually mid- to high-80s this time of year
• Nobody was prepared for how cold it was
• Most people ended up wearing their pajamas on Friday for warmth
• My youngest daughter forgot to bring a sweatshirt and blanket and ended up borrowing one of my layers (and the picnic blanket) for the rest of the trip
• Our lighter ran out of fuel partway through the day
• We went to see the canyon, which was breathtaking
• We did some hiking, saw some amazing views, bought a beautiful print of the canyon at sunset, and soaked in the wonder of the place
• Along the way, my daughter's friend found multiple opportunities to flirt with death in order to capture stupid photos (which turned out pretty cool)
• A hot chocolate stop midday made the cold more bearable
• We came back to camp for lunch to find the wind thrashing our tents, tearing out the stakes (one of the tents was completely blown over), and threatening to carry them to some other part of the park
• We fixed the tents, had lunch, and started seriously contemplating leaving a day early because it was so freaking cold
• We went driving in the afternoon and saw a lot of other views of the canyon. Each one was pretty mind-blowing.
• We headed back to camp with most of us feeling like it was time to go home because the cold and wind were so uncomfortable. We finally decided to cut the trip short (it was supposed to be a two-night trip, but ...), and as we were breaking camp, it started snowing and hailing pretty heavily. Not crazy heavy, but enough to make things uncomfortable.
• Frozen fingers trying to zip up bags
• Mud everywhere
• Hail in the bags, which would mean later drying out at home
• Keep in mind, this is Arizona ...
• We finally shoved all of the luggage in the car and in a roof rack carrier we had borrowed from a friend
• As we drove off, we discovered that the straps of the roof carrier weren't tight enough and were making noise in the wind. The noise was a bit like having a bunch of angry wasps in the car with us.
• As we're thinking about how to handle this new development on our way out of the park, someone rear-ended us. No one was hurt (except for a bit of a banged-up knee), but we had to get out and take care of that. Thankfully, the guy who hit us was very apologetic and really nice.
• We saw a dead elk on the side of the road on our way out
• We ended up stopping about 4-5 times trying to fix the stupid roof carrier. Somehow, we had made it work on the drive up, but we couldn't get it to work on the drive back.
• Finally, we pulled it off and stuffed everything in the car because we felt like spatial comfort wasn't as important as stopping the noise.
• We stopped for dinner (where the lines were long and the restrooms had no toilet paper), and my daughter's friend lost her phone, which set off a scramble. Thankfully, we found it in an obscure place in the now-slightly-cramped car.
• According to my youngest, the most traumatic experience of the entire trip was that her fortune cookie from dinner didn't have a fortune in it.
• As you can see, it was a rough trip ... :)

We ended up getting home around midnight on Friday. I think the negative events outnumbered the positive events by at least 2:1. But the positives were awesome. And the negatives were funny (we laughed a lot on the way home as we talked about how crazy the trip was). It turns out, there's no such thing as negative. Maybe Shakespeare was right when he wrote, "There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so."

Overall, the trip was awesome. We will definitely be going back sometime for more views, more hiking, and the incredibly starry skies.

Starry skies at the Grand Canyon

Fat Women

I read an article last week that got me thinking about the way our society views women. It's a rather raw, uncensored view from a woman who experienced a change in the way men viewed and interacted with her as she went through a change in her body shape. It was really well-written, but the language and themes were a bit harsh. Given my style is seriously muted in comparison, I was tempted not to link to it, but that didn't seem fair, so ... here you go.

And for the rest of you, here's my sanitized summary of the article and my thoughts on it. The author had gotten a parasite in her intestinal tract. It took a week or two before a doctor finally diagnosed her problem correctly. After vomiting for several weeks, her previously well-rounded body withered and she became pretty skinny. It was interesting to read her description of the increased attention she received from men after her massive weight loss. Equally interesting was the reduced attention she saw many months later as she slowly rounded out again. She posted plenty of pictures of herself, both skinny and large. I didn't see her as fat, but there was definitely a strong contrast between the two sizes. To me, she looked beautiful in both forms.

The drop-off in attention she reported was a bit sad, but predictable. I tend to think that American men's preference for skinny women is not completely biological. I think it's largely psychological and cultural. And I think it's unfortunate. But I also thought it was sad the way the author seemed to think that her skinny figure was somehow less than ideal. She spoke of looking like a child and thinking it strange that men found that attractive. She used stronger language than that, but you get the idea.

I have noticed a trend of women fighting back against society's emphasis on the ideal, thin figure of a woman. And I think that's mostly a healthy thing. But I think, in their rebellion, some women, thinking to have freed themselves, have continued their enslavement to the culture by allowing it to continue to dictate to them the battle lines. They may have switched sides, but they're still perpetuating the war. It's thin vs. fat. And if you disagree with society's fixation on skinny women, then you take the side of the fat women. But mocking the thin form won't help us win the war.

My wife, Emily, was an extremely skinny teenager. When we married, she was still incredibly thin. I was attracted to her, but even at that time, I remember thinking it wouldn't be a terrible thing for her to add a little weight. Since then, she and I have both gone through some weight fluctuations. After marriage, I gained about 60 pounds and later took most of it off. That's an interesting story too, but I'm focused on women's shapes here, so I'll summarize my experience by saying that Emily loved me when I was thin and she loved me when I got a little fatter. And that steadiness of support was really wonderful.

Emily has gone through some weight fluctuations too, but a little less drastic than mine. And those changes have been challenging for her psychologically. But the way her body has fleshed out in recent years makes her, in my view, incredibly beautiful. She was beautiful when she was thin. And she is beautiful now that she has more curves. She has a desire to lose a little weight. She's not too fat, in my opinion, but losing a few pounds would probably be a healthy thing to do. And I support her in that. She has made a little progress in the last few weeks and, as she succeeds, I will miss the extra curves a little. But she'll be beautiful in her new form too.

Thin vs. fat. This war, one of many, seems to be quietly raging in our society. But maybe the war is just stupid. And maybe the only way to win the war is not to fight it. Instead of fighting with each other over which modality is preferable, maybe we can change the way we see women on a fundamental level. Maybe we can begin to see them as just ... women. Just beautiful. And maybe, if we can do that, we can begin to raise our young women to be confident and happy in their skin. No matter what body shape they may have. Thinking of my own daughters, that seems like a really cool gift to give to our beautiful young girls.

Inner Beauty

I just watched this video of an award acceptance speech at a Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon.

Beautiful, honest, and courageous. This woman impressed me. I think I'll show this video to my daughters. I think every young girl should hear what she has to say.

She tells the story of her own childhood and feelings of inadequacy. I love the following line:

"I had begun to enjoy the seduction of inadequacy."

Some other great ones:

"Beauty was not a thing I could acquire or consume. It was something that I just had to be. And what my mother meant when she said, 'you can't eat beauty', was that you can't rely on how you look to sustain you. What actually sustains us, what is fundamentally beautiful, is compassion, for yourself and for those around you. That kind of beauty inflames the heart and enchants the soul."

And:

"That you will feel the validation of your external beauty, but also get to the deeper business of being beautiful inside. That ... there is no shade in that beauty."