On Judgment

Recently, I posted about my experiences in learning about a simpler approach to life. Part of my reason for moving away from my religious heritage was the recognition that there was a more effective approach to life than the effort-based model I grew up with.

While this is true, I think a more important concept that helped me move on in my spiritual path was the concept of judgment. Or rather, the total abandonment of it.

I tend to forget this concept on a regular basis as I get pulled back into old, deeply entrenched patterns of thought. So I think this post has two purposes. I want to share an important principle that differentiates me from my religious background. And I want to document my thinking here to help remind me when I forget.

I remember several months ago my mantra had become something like, "There are no enemies, only friends I haven't yet come to know." This applies to people when they cut me off in traffic. It applies to situations that cause me pain or inconvenience. And most of all, it applies to my own thoughts, emotions, and impulses. By making friends with what I used to consider 'evil' or wrong, I have come to see that there is no evil. There is imbalance. There is illness. But nothing is truly malicious. And that is especially true of the various parts that make up my 'self.'

I have found that regardless of what's happening around me, I can create a state of heavenly peace inside of me by being at one with myself. By accepting what's happening around and inside of me without judgment.

For the parts inside me, I accept that they are what they are, but that doesn't mean I have to act on every impulse I feel. It just means I give them all attention. I seek to understand them without judging them. And slowly, their masks peel away to reveal ... myself. They are me. They are my friends. And having experienced this many times now, I am becoming convinced that there simply are no enemies. Just friends we haven't yet taken the time to get to know.

For the external world, I found that when I fight reality, insisting that it be something other than what it is, I create conflict inside of me, and potentially with those around me. Most of what occurs outside of me is completely outside of my control, so it's best to offer the serenity prayer and simply let go of judgment. When I do, the enemies I have made all around me tend to transform into friends.

It was in letting go of the need to judge that I was finally able to stop the war I had been waging with myself and the world around me. Or it might have been the other way around - when I stopped the war, judgment vanished. Either way, when I stopped fighting that war, I found peace.