White Christmas

It snowed today! HUGE flakes!
Merry Christmas!

Measles for Christmas

Christmas has been a hit so far! I love this holiday. My kids had so much fun opening presents and I loved the looks on their faces when they opened some of their favorites. We talked last night about the reasons we open presents and I tried to convey to them the joy of giving in addition to the joy of getting. Some of them definitely got the message. Some of them definitely didn't. :)

We had an early Christmas present yesterday. Our youngest woke up covered in red spots and they're worse today. We think she has the measles. Hooray! Merry Christmas! They don't seem to be bothering her too much yet, but I think it's funny that she got such a unique illness at such a perfect time.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas! Merry Christmas, everyone!

What Makes Women Beautiful?

I think women are beautiful! It wasn't until after God created Eve that He claimed His work was done. He had created a lot of beautiful things, but Eve was the last, sort of His crowning achievement. Maybe He was trying to make up for that man He created. No offense to Adam; I'm sure he was a pretty fantastic man. I just think men are ugly. Woman might be thought of as God's magnum opus, created just before His final declaration that His creation was "good."

What Makes Women Beautiful?

So what is it about women that makes them so beautiful? This is a question I have been thinking about lately, but haven't quite been able to figure out yet. I can certainly understand why God would think His work was done after making a woman. I just don't understand intellectually what I find so beautiful about them. So like any good scientist, I've been studying the question. Here's what I've come up with so far.

Being a man, I find beauty in a woman's physical shape and appearance. The one unifying element that seems to make their different aspects beautiful to me is "softness." I'm not sure that's the right word, though, so here's a few more: smooth, gentle, nurturing. Some of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen are of my wife carrying a child in her womb or breastfeeding one of our children. But there's something about the softness of the female form, the curves, the fullness of form, that make a woman's body attractive to me. Long, soft hair, soft facial features, soft, full lips - those all work. With this question in mind, I have been looking at women around me that strike me as beautiful and I keep coming back to the word "soft."

Harsh features aren't beautiful to me and those usually belong to men. It's the harshness, the sharp lines, the hard forms of developed muscle that seem to be made to help a man face the physical challenges of the world and protect his family from danger and want. Those features aren't attractive to me at all. From what my wife tells me, those are some of the things about men that she finds attractive. Kind of cool how it all works out.

So I know that's not a very complete answer, but I'm still working on it. Studying the "what" of beauty is a good start, but I don't really understand intellectually why I think those features are beautiful. But let me take a stab at it from a different angle.

Why Are Women Beautiful?

Women want to be loved and adored. Their beauty might be nature's way of securing for themselves a fulfillment of these natural desires. Likewise, men want to be respected and admired. Taken to unhealthy extremes, women prostitute themselves in order to receive a counterfeit adoration and men become tyrants to obtain a counterfeit respect. Unfortunately, these counterfeits can't satisfy our real cravings. It's only in a healthy, committed relationship where a woman lovingly submits to her husband (a sign of respect) and the husband loves his wife and cares for her as his most precious possession that both can have their needs fully met (see Ephesians 5:22,25).

So then the question becomes - why do we seem to have these natural desires? What purpose do they fulfill? So far, my only answer is that maybe the complementary nature of the male and female desires serves to bring two people together in unity. If relationships, friendship, and love are sufficient "final causes," then perhaps this justifies the beauty of women in fulfilling one of life's objectives.

What do you think?

Roller Skating

We went roller skating yesterday and had SO much fun! My three oldest tried it out and although they have tried it a couple of times before, they've never done it enough to really get the hang of it. They were pretty off balance for a while, but they started to get the hang of it and by the time we left, they were able to get around the rink really well by themselves. Number three had a harder time than the other two, but he was determined and he kept working at it until he got to be pretty confident skating by himself. He got pretty creative in the way he got around, using the walls, practicing on the carpet, and sitting on his skates while pushing himself along with his hands. I was really proud of him. Our youngest played on a playground next to the rink and had a lot of fun too.

Emily and I really enjoyed watching all of them learn a new skill. It was great to see them smiling as they got the hang of it. I skated with them and helped coach them a little in the beginning and once they got the hang of it, my job was to sneak up on them while they skated and startle them. I had a GREAT time! I love spending time with my family.

Christmas Break

I worked crazy hours last week so I could wrap up some projects enough to walk away from them for a while. I decided to take off two weeks of work this Christmas and enjoy some time with my family. I really need it. Work has been really consuming lately.

So I've been relaxing with my family since last Saturday and it has been great! We've got lots of plans. We're hoping to go swimming, roller skating, and maybe ice skating. We're going to go play at one of those indoor warehouse-size places that house all kinds of huge inflatable toys like the slide in the picture below. We might go bowling and we are definitely going to camp out one night in the living room, have popcorn, watch a movie, and sleep on the couches/floors. We've done that a few times in the past and even though we don't always sleep all that great, it's a lot of fun.

I did all of my shopping online this year, so I didn't face any of the shopping madness. I don't watch TV, so no stupid commercials to ruin the holiday spirit. My kids want to buy or make a few more gifts for each other, but other than that, I think we're just about set. We still have to wrap presents, but I enjoy doing that, especially if Emily and I do it together. So I think we're about ready for Christmas and I'm enjoying the break without any of the holiday stress.

There is a small piece of work that I haven't quite left behind, though. I've been spending an hour or two each day preparing for my class next semester. I've taught in lots of different venues, including filling in for a colleague of mine in his college course, but I've never taught my own full semester-long course before. I get to do that next month and I'm really excited! I've written a syllabus, course outline, two homework assignments, and most of my material for the first three lectures. I've also solved the first homework set, so I know it's structured right. I don't know why, but I'm really enjoying this preparation and the fact that I do it willingly while I'm on vacation is a really good sign. I think I'm going to enjoy teaching next semester.

In the meantime, I'm piddling around with this course preparation stuff and enjoying the rest of my time reading, relaxing, blogging, and playing with my wife and kids. I hope your Christmas is as wonderful as mine is shaping up to be. Have a Merry Christmas! And God bless you.

Truth vs. Relationships

I was thinking this morning about the petty arguments we get into sometimes. I was thinking about the advice I've heard now and then - something about "it's more important to be happy than to be right." There are a lot of variations on that theme, but the basic idea is that you recognize when you're in the middle of such an argument that even if you're right, pushing the point may damage the relationship between the two people arguing, negatively affecting the happiness of both. The implication seems to be that we should sacrifice truth for the welfare of relationships. I've never quite been able to swallow that implication because I care too much about truth. G.E. Moore claimed that the greatest ethic goods were personal relationships and aesthetic appreciation ... followed by truth. But as much as I value relationships and beauty, I'm going to disagree with Moore's rankings.

It's not that the truth is unimportant. Maybe the issue is a minor one and the truth really doesn't matter that much, but no matter how big or small, truth is important. Ceasing to argue about something does not mean you don't care about the truth, but rather, you don't care whether the other person recognizes the truth. A simple debate where the participants are respectful, not argumentative, can be a really healthy thing and can help both sides get a little closer to the truth if they approach the debate with humility. But an argument usually means that both sides are becoming passionate enough about the debate that things become contentious. That kind of environment isn't usually conducive to learning new truth and it can also damage the relationship. So stepping away from an argument doesn't mean you care less about the truth, but that you care less about convincing someone else of the truth (or of obtaining it yourself) than you care about the health of the relationship. Let things cool down; and chances are, there will be another opportunity to have a healthy debate and get a little better acquainted with truth.

Being The Best

My third child was recognized yesterday at school for being the only child in his grade to run 10 laps around the school track in 12 minutes (the equivalent of about 1.5 miles from what I understand). This happened late September. Apparently his PE coach made a big deal out of it in front of the entire school and said that in all his years of coaching, my son is the first child of that grade to have ever done that in the fall. Wow! Kind of cool to be the best at something, huh?

My second child was also given an award yesterday for being in the top five runners of her grade. I'm really proud of both of them. They have worked hard and are doing really well. And it's great that they're being recognized for their success. But you know who I'm really proud of? My oldest. He has worked really hard at running for several years and has never been as successful as these other two. But he hasn't been jealous or mean-spirited. In fact, he's been really supportive of both of his siblings and he cheers them on! He may not be as gifted in that area of his life as the other two, but to me, he has succeeded at something far more important. He has figured out how to be kind, loving, and supportive even when his hopes for success are superseded by someone other than himself. Even more remarkable in this case since the "other" is a younger sibling.

I think it has helped his self confidence to be recognized for something quite different. If he felt like a failure, he might not be so supportive. But his confidence has been boosted by him being recognized in October as the best reader in the school. And I think that has helped him to avoid any petty jealousy he might have felt in seeing his siblings be recognized for achievements that he has worked so hard for during the last few years.

I think we all want to feel that we are important and very often, we base our sense of self-importance on external valuations. How fast we can run, how much weight we can lift, how smart we are ... but none of these are really self-made abilities. We can nurture them, sure, but some people are naturally gifted with certain abilities that help them achieve such things and others aren't. So, can we really feel like we're better people because we achieve in something that is really facilitated by gifts given to us by God at birth? If God blessed me to be more intelligent than others, does that make me better than them? Can I really base my sense of self worth on something that had nothing to do with any choice of mine?

Perhaps far better is to base our sense of worth are the choices we make such as how we treat others. That is something that truly comes from our own will and power and is not dependent on God for His gifts. This is especially true when we don't FEEL like treating others kindly, but we do it anyway because it's the right thing to do. I'm grateful that my children are tasting the fruits of success and worldly praise, but I'm even more grateful that they're finding success in more important areas and I hope they can feel the praise of God for those good choices they're making in the way they treat others. I feel really blessed to have such great kids.

Gulliver's Travels and Texting

In Gulliver's Travels, Gulliver meets some scholars in an academy full of crazy schemes for the betterment of mankind. One was "a scheme for entirely abolishing all words whatsoever; and this was urged as a great advantage in point of health, as well as brevity. For it is plain, that every word we speak is, in some degree, a diminution of our lungs by corrosion, and, consequently, contributes to the shortening of our lives. An expedient was therefore offered, 'that since words are only names for things, it would be more convenient for all men to carry about them such things as were necessary to express a particular business they are to discourse on.' And this invention would certainly have taken place, to the great ease as well as health of the subject, if the women, in conjunction with the vulgar and illiterate, had not threatened to raise a rebellion unless they might be allowed the liberty to speak with their tongues, after the manner of their forefathers; such constant irreconcilable enemies to science are the common people."

In our day, thanks to the miracles of technology, the common people have submitted. We now have texting.