Truth vs. Relationships

I was thinking this morning about the petty arguments we get into sometimes. I was thinking about the advice I've heard now and then - something about "it's more important to be happy than to be right." There are a lot of variations on that theme, but the basic idea is that you recognize when you're in the middle of such an argument that even if you're right, pushing the point may damage the relationship between the two people arguing, negatively affecting the happiness of both. The implication seems to be that we should sacrifice truth for the welfare of relationships. I've never quite been able to swallow that implication because I care too much about truth. G.E. Moore claimed that the greatest ethic goods were personal relationships and aesthetic appreciation ... followed by truth. But as much as I value relationships and beauty, I'm going to disagree with Moore's rankings.

It's not that the truth is unimportant. Maybe the issue is a minor one and the truth really doesn't matter that much, but no matter how big or small, truth is important. Ceasing to argue about something does not mean you don't care about the truth, but rather, you don't care whether the other person recognizes the truth. A simple debate where the participants are respectful, not argumentative, can be a really healthy thing and can help both sides get a little closer to the truth if they approach the debate with humility. But an argument usually means that both sides are becoming passionate enough about the debate that things become contentious. That kind of environment isn't usually conducive to learning new truth and it can also damage the relationship. So stepping away from an argument doesn't mean you care less about the truth, but that you care less about convincing someone else of the truth (or of obtaining it yourself) than you care about the health of the relationship. Let things cool down; and chances are, there will be another opportunity to have a healthy debate and get a little better acquainted with truth.