Club Unicorn

About a year ago, I posted some thoughts about homosexuality. For the sake of blog integrity, I don't want to change what I posted then, but I came across something today that makes me want to amend it slightly in a separate post.

In a blog a couple of weeks ago, a man with homosexual inclinations named Josh Weed "came out" and described his experiences coming to love a woman and create a family with her. His post is extremely well written and identifies a nuance I didn't capture in my previous post. There is a difference between 'homosexuality' and the act of same-gender sex. My post above identifies a difference between inclination and action, but I used the term 'homosexuality' differently than he did and I think my language becomes confusing. His is very well thought out - homosexuality is something he has dealt with for most of his life. If you're interested in this topic, I highly recommend you read his post here. His comments about love and intimacy are worth reading all by themselves. I'll reproduce part of it here:

... sex is about more than just visual attraction and lust and it is about more than just passion and infatuation.... when sex is done right, at its deepest level it is about intimacy. It is about one human being connecting with another human being they love. It is a beautiful physical manifestation of two people being connected in a truly vulnerable, intimate manner because they love each other profoundly. It is bodies connecting and souls connecting. It is beautiful and rich and fulfilling and spiritual and amazing. Many people never get to this point in their sex lives because it requires incredible communication, trust, vulnerability, and connection.

He draws a distinction between love and attraction that I think is helpful for anyone regardless of their sexual orientation. He has purposefully chosen to love and nurture a woman even though he has no natural sexual attraction toward women. His point, though, is that truly fulfilling love and sex have little to do with attraction and a lot to do with choices, communication, connection, etc.

For those who thought that a gay man happily married to a woman was a mythical creature, he offers himself as evidence that such creatures exist and calls them unicorns. Having observed a unicorn firsthand through his blog, I am now a member of the illustrious Club Unicorn. Membership is free; if you're interested in joining, just read his post. And welcome to the club.

I appreciated reading his thoughts. He has given me some things to think about. I have never had homosexual inclinations myself, but I have my own set of weaknesses. I was inspired to read about his life and how he dealt with the decisions he faced as he came to see that his natural inclinations were very different than most of the people around him. It sounds like he had the strength and courage to make the choices he made in large part because of the love, support, and freedom he was given by his parents and others. I hope I can be that supportive and non-judgmental of others when they face challenges.