Cars

Cars. My kids love that movie, but unfortunately, this story isn’t quite as much fun.

Honda, Round 1: Where I live, we are required to have our cars tested for emissions. It all started with my van. I have a 2001 Honda Odyssey. It’s pushing 130,000 miles, so it shouldn't be too surprising to find things wrong with it. It failed its emissions test about a month ago. The OBD code told me it was related to the EGR system (too many acronyms, I know, but try to keep up). I paid the dealership to service the EGR system for me and they cleaned it out. Damage: $411.06.

Saturn, Round 1: Meanwhile, I took my sedan in for its emissions test. Now, this is a 1995 pushing 175,000 miles, so again, I shouldn’t be surprised here. I turned off the engine to save gas while waiting for the guy in front of me. When I went to start it again … nothing. No sound, no attempt to turn over. The nice guy at the test facility helped me push start it, we got it tested (it passed), and I took it home before turning it off again. I ended up replacing the starter motor and more recently, a negative battery cable. Ignition system works. Cost in parts: $137.79 + $3.99.

Honda, Round 2: After driving the van around for a few miles, the Check Engine light came back on. Hmm … since I had paid the dealership to service the EGR, I took it back to them. They told me a new code had come on indicating the catalytic converter was busted. Yes, I know it sounds fishy, but I saw the codes and I can see why this would happen. Dealership wants nearly $1000 to replace it. Forget that. I bought the converter and a few extra parts and installed it Wed and Thu of this week. It finally passed emissions on Thu and our car registration payment is on its way, just in time. Whew! Damage: $294.53 + $12.70 + $9.58 + 2 vacation days from work.

Saturn, Round 2: In the middle of installing the converter and searching for the right parts, my Saturn started acting funny. I had already messed around with the ignition system, but the engine wasn’t running right. It was sluggish, seemed to be vibrating too much, and making some extra sounds I wasn’t used to hearing. On Wednesday night, I ended up popping off the spark plug wires one at a time and with one of them came a splatter of oil. Oh no! I was in the middle of the converter install, the van up on jacks, and now my Saturn has oil on top of one of its spark plugs. I’m ready to cry. And I’m ready to drag both cars to the junk yard and start all over. A good friend of mine, Dean, helped me troubleshoot the car and even came over that night to help me clean out the cylinder, found some bolts I needed, and helped me finish prepping the converter for install the next day. That guy is a saint.

Honda, Round 3: After installing the converter on the Honda, I asked my wife to keep an eye and a nose out for exhaust leaks. The gaskets I found weren’t quite the right size, but I clamped them down anyway hoping they would make a seal. My wife, with her super sleuth nose, informed me that she did detect a bit of a smell and what’s more – the heater in the front quit working. WHAT’S GOING ON???!!!

Saturn, Round 3: Ok, so we’ve blown out the oil in the cylinder and I’ve purchased some carburetor cleaner for future use and some silicone to help seal the leaky valves. I then replaced the spark plugs and, when that didn’t seem to completely heal my poor car’s sluggishness, I also replaced the spark plug wires. Damage: $2.59 + $5.79 + $11.94 + $18.33. My Saturn isn’t perfect, but I think I’ve won this fight for now.

Honda, Round 4: Good news. My wife called this morning to inform me that my van’s heater worked today. Hooray! I have no idea what happened yesterday, but hopefully I can forget about that one for a little while. I think I’m feeling humble (and sore) enough to admit defeat on the exhaust leak and pay Meineke to put in some new gaskets for me. They told me $57 for labor and about $10 for parts.

For now, my cars have conceded me victory. Thankfully, we’ve been saving for a new car for several years and will be replacing the Saturn when the next big repair comes up. Both cars have actually been extremely reliable, but this past month has been such an aberration and a learning experience for me, I thought I would share. Estimated total damage: $975.