Pinewood Derby

My son and I made a Pinewood Derby car a couple nights ago. The Derby was tonight and we had a good time. He didn't like the competitive nature of the event, but I think he enjoyed most of it. Some people really get into these things and go crazy with their cars and obsess about winning. Anyway, he got second place in his den and I was proud of the way he handled himself. He's so kind to people around him. Mostly I was proud of him for doing most of the work on the car himself. I helped him cut and sand, but he designed it, did some of the cutting, and all of the painting. I think he did a great job! Don't you?

We went out for ice cream afterward. I think that made him feel pretty special. He's a great kid. I'm excited to see what kind of a man he'll turn out to be.

Play vs. Work

When I was a kid, it was hard for me to put away the fun and games and focus on work. School work, yard work, any kind of work. Those things just weren't very fun. Playing games or sports and hanging out with friends was a lot more fun. So my priorities were 1) play and 2) work.

Somewhere along the line in transitioning to adulthood, those priorities got switched. It's not that I enjoyed work more. I'm still a naturally lazy, fun-loving person. But the pressures of life, the recognition of the need for an education, the demands of professional employment, and maybe other factors combined to change how and where I focus my energies.

Work is an essential part of life and I'm glad those pressures are there to get me off my rear and doing something useful. But sometimes those pressures blind us to what's really important. Playing games or sports with my kids is a lot more useful than a lot of what I do at work. It shows them I love them, it builds positive relationships among us, and it's just a lot of fun.

There needs to be a balance in all we do in life. It's easy, as an adult, to get off balance and focus too much on work. Work is important; just don't forget to play.

Count Your Blessings

In a church youth meeting recently, the question was asked: "Why should we be grateful?" Immediately, the thought came to me that "gratitude makes us happy." Last night, I received an email from a friend of ours, Marilyn, in which she said, "Count your blessings, not your trials." I thought that was great advice!

By counting our blessings and focusing on what is right in our lives, we'll find that we have a lot to be grateful for. Recognizing that, I think we're naturally happier. When we focus on what's wrong in our lives, our attitudes naturally turn sour. The same works with people. If you want to find something wrong with someone, you'll always succeed. If you search for some redeeming quality in everyone you meet, you'll always succeed. With the second attitude, the world looks brighter, humanity looks more decent and caring, and we, as individuals, are happier.

That doesn't mean we blind ourselves to what is wrong with the world. But our focus can remain on the positive things while recognizing evil and tackling our personal weaknesses, or other evils, one at a time. By focusing on what's negative, we may end up losing the power to turn those negatives into positives.

I learned a principle related to focus from Stephen R. Covey. I think it was in his original "Seven Habits" book. He taught that the circumstances of our lives can be modeled as two concentric spheres. The inner sphere represents things we can control and the outer represents everything in our lives that affects us, but is outside of our control. Covey claimed that by focusing on the inner sphere, the size of that sphere actually grows. By focusing on the outer sphere, the size of the inner sphere shrinks. I believe that's true. Not quite the same as focusing on the positive, but it illustrates that we magnify those things on which we focus. By focusing on the positive, we naturally magnify it and not only does the world seem more positive, but it actually becomes more positive. It probably doesn't become so just because of what we think, but because of how our thoughts and attitudes translate into actions.

If we want to be happy and have the power to make changes for good, I think a key principle is to focus on the positive. Count your blessings.

Olympians and Artemis Fowl

My oldest and I have recently read a few books together. That is, we read them independently, but at the same time. Usually he'll read them in the afternoon and right before he goes to bed. Then I'll steal them and read them at night. We've read two books from a series called "Percy Jackson & the Olympians". The first of these, "The Lightning Thief," was made into a movie, which is coming out soon.

The premise of these books is that the Olympian gods are real, they're still kickin', and still siring illegitimate offspring (heroes, demigods, or whatever you like). One of these children, Percy, is the son of Poseidon. Luckily, the illegitimacy seems to be lost on my son. He thinks Percy's mom is married to Poseidon. That's cool. I won't disillusion him. Except for that little piece of immorality, the books are pretty fun. There's lots of good material to familiarize children with Greek mythology, a lot of nonsense to make the storyline tenable, and even a few good family values here and there. They were fun to read. I've realized I need more nonsense in my life, so these books have been great.


Another book we read was called "Artemis Fowl" about a genius of a criminal mastermind (Artemis), modeled a little after Professor Moriarty, who happens to be twelve years old. It also has a healthy dose of nonsense, a large number of likable characters, and a fun, fantastical storyline. I enjoy reading books with my son. It gives me a chance to talk with him about what he has read and get his opinions. And it's nice to just read a bunch of nonsense once in a while.

Leap Year

I went on a date with my wife tonight. We had dinner and went to see Leap Year at the theater. I don't think we've been to a theater in years. Really. We love movies, but I don't usually enjoy the theater. I can't usually find a movie I'm interested in seeing, it's too expensive, not as comfortable as my own home, blah blah blah.



Anyway, good movie. Definitely predictable and a little cheesy, but a good story, good acting, pretty clean, and I LOVED the Irish accents and scenery. Mostly, it was nice to be out alone with my wife. Happy Birthday to me!

Music in My Family

My youngest was singing a song from High School Musical this morning. I think it's so cute that she even knows the song, but what was great was that the song has a male and a female part and she changed the pitch of her voice to mimic the difference. She did it really well! It was so sweet.

My kids got a karaoke machine for Christmas this year from some friends of ours. They love playing with it and they're all such good singers. They really amaze me with the quality of their voices at such young ages. It's fun to listen to them parrot some of these songs that they have come to know so well. I also love hearing them belt it out as we drive together in the van. The youngest in particular cracks me up when she puts her heart into one particular song and sings as loud as she can. I guess what touches me is that they're all so young, but they feel so deeply and they love the music so much that they have to sing along and they do it so well.

Our family has an odd tradition of dancing to music that plays with movie credits. After watching a movie together, we all usually jump up and start dancing together. The kids love it and I have a great time holding hands with my kids, spinning around in circles, and watching their faces light up as they laugh. Music has been a big part of my life since I was a kid and it's so fulfilling to see it playing a role in the lives of another generation.

Birthday Music

Today is my birthday. We celebrated last night and I received, among other things, two CDs. One is by Susan Boyle, who was discovered on one of those talent television shows. I saw her original performance on YouTube and I thought she was pretty good, but I was a little annoyed by all the hype. I didn't think she was that great. But listening to it today was a different experience. Her voice really is beautiful! The music is fun and relaxing to listen to. Thanks mom and dad.



Speaking of vocalists, I recently discovered two that I really like. Hayley Westenra and Loreena McKennitt. Hayley's song "Prayer" is absolutely beautiful. And Loreena has an incredibly strong voice. I need to remember to buy some of their stuff. Remind me later, ok?

I also received a CD by Jon Schmidt. He's a pianist I saw in concert about ... 18 years ago, I think. He's amazing. He plays one of his songs upside down with his back on the piano bench and his face under the piano. He also typically makes up a song at his concerts on the spot. He has another song where he plays some of the piece with his arms and elbows. That last one is called "All of Me" and I have the sheet music for it. I've practiced that song for HOURS and I can't play it nearly as fast or as well as he does. He is amazing. The first song on this CD is a remix of Taylor Swift's song "Love Story." I like that song. Thanks Emily. You really spoiled me this year. I'm excited to play with the rest of the gifts you gave me.

 

A Man For All Seasons

When I was an undergrad, I took a class with my older brother called "History of Civilization." In it, we read Thomas More's "Utopia" and later watched the movie "A Man For All Seasons" starring Paul Scofield playing Sir Thomas More. The movie focuses on the last 6-7 years of More's life. It made a powerful impression on me at the time. I remember thinking about it for weeks afterward.



In one of the greatest compliments I have ever received, a group of fellow students dubbed me a "man for all seasons" during my Junior year of college. It was a culmination of several things that they had seen me do and they were impressed enough to give me that title, which they stubbornly used the rest of the year. They were very complimentary. I don't think I deserved the title and I'm more certain now than ever that I don't deserve to be compared with a man such as Thomas More.

A few months ago, I re-read Utopia and watched the movie again. Once again, I was in awe of this man who, under threat of imprisonment and death, refused to compromise his integrity. The film is filled with some fantastic dialogue that brings out his wit and wisdom. I wish I could be as wise as they depicted him to be. He eventually died as a martyr for what he believed. The film shows some of his human frailty, but also his sincerity and integrity. I know the film isn't perfectly accurate historically, but from what I've learned of him, he was an incredible man.

After this second time of reading the book and watching the film, I described my experience and thoughts to a Catholic friend of mine. This is a man who has served to significantly increase my respect for the Catholic Church by the way he lives his life. He has nine children and told me that More is the Patron Saint of large families, so I guess he's pretty well acquainted with him. He told me that "Seasons" was a film that one particular Seminary required every graduating Priest to watch. I can see why. If you haven't seen it, check it out. It's deep and a bit somber, but has a few light-hearted moments. Not a film for those times when you're in a silly mood, but a powerful one.

A Pure Heart

I saw an article yesterday in BYU's alumni magazine (my undergrad alma mater) that spoke of "the journey to Zion [requiring] a return to virtue." Now, if you're not a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), this post may not make much sense at first, but stick with me. I'll broaden it in just a minute. For now, when I say "Zion", just think "Utopia". That might not be quite right, but it'll help.

Now, I really liked the message of the article because Zion is a place I'd really like to live in and I've thought a lot about what it takes to build a Zion-like society. I can't say I've got the answers, but it definitely has to do with virtue. I was disappointed, however, when, upon scanning the article, it became clear that, by "virtue", the author meant "chastity." Now don't get me wrong. I think chastity is very important. In fact, without chastity, virtue isn't too virtuous. I simply assert that chastity is a pretty narrow definition of virtue. Necessary, yes, but not nearly sufficient.

In the LDS Church, we have a scripture that says "this is Zion - THE PURE IN HEART" (D&C 97:21). I believe the heart is often seen as a symbol of the seat or source of emotions and desires. Elsewhere, a group of people, having felt an outpouring of spiritual power, claimed "the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, ... has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually." (Mosiah 5:2). Shortly thereafter, their leader observed "ye say that your hearts are changed through faith on his name; therefore, ye are born of [Christ]" (Mosiah 5:7). I've had that kind of experience before where I felt like I had no desire to do evil. It doesn't always last, but I think I'm a little better of a pereson after each such experience. Perhaps, little by little, we can be transformed into something different than what we are, be "born again", have that evil nature rooted out of our hearts to be replaced by a pure heart, one that seeks no evil, desires no evil, and one from which no evil thoughts, words, or deeds could ever issue. That would truly be a pure heart. We're going to need some help to overcome our human natures, but when we achieve that, perhaps we can build that ideal, Utopian society people have been searching for for so many years. Until then, we're stuck with all the evils of which the human heart can conceive.

In his short story "Earth's Holocuast", Nathaniel Hawthorne writes of a huge bonfire into which all the vices of humanity (or rather, the tools of such vice) had been cast to rid the world of evil. They began with newspapers, magazines, tokens of nobility, then moved on to alcohol, tobacco, literature, and implements of torture and war, among other things. The story is Hawthorne's conception of a far-reaching reform and ends with a penetrating commentary on the uselessness of all such endeavors that can only go so deep. At the end of the story, a new character emerges speaking to four of the characters who are not so happy with the results of the reform. Hawthorne writes:

"'Poh, poh, my good fellows!' said a dark-complexioned personage, who now joined the group--his complexion was indeed fearfully dark, and his eyes glowed with a redder light than that of the bonfire--'Be not so cast down, my dear friends; you shall see good days yet. There is one thing that these wiseacres have forgotten to throw into the fire, and without which all the rest of the conflagration is just nothing at all--yes; though they had burnt the earth itself to a cinder!'

"'And what may that be?' eagerly demanded the Last Murderer.

"'What but the human heart itself!' said the dark-visaged stranger, with a portentous grin. 'And, unless they hit upon some method of purifying that foul cavern, forth from it will re-issue all the shapes of wrong and misery--the same old shapes, or worse ones--which they have taken such a vast deal of trouble to consume to ashes. I have stood by, this live-long night, and laughed in my sleeve at the whole business. Oh, take my word for it, it will be the old world yet!'

"This brief conversation supplied me with a theme for lengthened thought. How sad a truth--if true it were--that Man's age-long endeavor for perfection had served only to render him the mockery of the Evil Principle, from the fatal circumstance of an error at the very root of the matter! The Heart--the Heart--there was the little yet boundless sphere, wherein existed the original wrong, of which the crime and misery of this outward world were merely types. Purify that inner sphere; and the many shapes of evil that haunt the outward, and which now seem almost our only realities, will turn to shadowy phantoms, and vanish of their own accord. But, if we go no deeper than the Intellect, and strive, with merely that feeble instrument, to discern and rectify what is wrong, our whole accomplishment will be a dream; so unsubstantial, that it matters little whether the bonfire, which I have so faithfully described, were what we choose to call a real event, and a flame that would scorch the finger--or only a phosphoric radiance, and a parable of my own brain!"

Martin Luther King

I had the day off yesterday for Martin Luther King Day. I'm going to call him MLK because we're good friends. Is it just me or was MLK an amazing guy? Here was a guy living in Atlanta, in the middle of some of the worst racial tension since the Jews called the Samaritans half-bloods and he preaches love and equality. He leads people in a non-violent revolution of sorts and significantly changes the landscape of the entire South. I live in the South now and although I see remnants of racial prejudice (and other types of prejudice, of course), black and white people live together pretty well from what I can see. There will always be problems with society until we get rid of all the humans, but things have improved significantly in that arena in the last 50-60 years.



King got some of his inspiration from Mohandas Gandhi. My wife and I watched the movie "Gandhi" a few months ago and we loved it! I bought his autobiography and I'm excited to read it. Gandhi got some of his inspiration from Leo Tolstoy, particularly from his book "The Kingdom of God is Within You." I've read everything of Tolstoy's that I could find. His later works are brilliant. I highly recommend "Confession" and "What Then Must We Do." Tolstoy has become my favorite author. Tolstoy received some of his inspiration from Henry David Thoreau, particularly his short essay entitled "Civil Disobedience," an excellent work. I've also read everything I could find from Thoreau. He's a close second to Tolstoy on my list.

I love to read. I could write more listing some of my favorite works and authors, but I'll get to them some other time. For now, I'm hoping to learn more about Gandhi and King. Happy Birthday, MLK.

Broken Toe

As far as I can remember, I have never had a broken bone ... until yesterday.

Yesterday morning, on my way to breakfast, I slammed my foot into my bedroom door. I was planning on doing some yard work and then playing some games with the kids. I ended up playing a lot of games.

I had the day off for Martin Luther King Day. I was in denial all day yesterday hoping that my toe would begin to feel better. This morning, I had a 2" diameter circle of bruising near the toe and decided I needed some help. The orthopedist confirmed I fractured my small toe and I've got a stylin' shoe with a wooden sole to help keep my foot from flexing. It should take 6 weeks to heal. I was hoping for a more dramatic "first," but I'll be content with a broken little toe.

 

Quote from Walden

I don't plan on posting nearly this often, but I just got started today and I guess I'm a little excited. Here's my quote for the week ... or maybe for the year:

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." - from Walden by Henry David Thoreau

Talk amongst yourselves.

Death

My wife's cousin Susan has a mass of tissue in her brain that isn't supposed to be there. The doctors don't know yet if it is malignant, but it has got us (my wife and me) thinking. Susan and her husband are still young. They don't have children. They have had some crying sessions together and the extended family has fasted and prayed for her as we all deal with the possibility that this may take her life. I hope she'll be ok.

My wife's grandfather has been diagnosed with lung cancer. It's progressing slowly and he's content to live as he is until the time comes. Grandma has taken it pretty well so far. They are both getting to be pretty old and I hope he'll be comfortable and enjoy the rest of his life.

As I think about those two situations, I feel very sad for Susan and almost happy for grandpa. This life is an amazing experience and I hate to see people die young. But when they get old, it's almost a relief to see them move on. I used to be afraid of death; I'm not afraid anymore. In fact, sometimes I get so tired of what I see around me, I wouldn't mind moving to the next phase myself even though I'm way too young to die. But I would miss my wife and children too much and I would feel that I could have done more for them if I had to abandon them now. No, I'm not suicidal, but I wouldn't mind passing out of this murky world for what I believe will be a brighter one. I just have more to do here before I go.

And while we're here, we might as well enjoy it. Grandma and grandpa are bravely facing their challenges and Susan is cheerfully submitting to whatever may happen. I've been pretty impressed by reading her comments and how happy she is choosing to be regardless of what life gives her. She has a lot of faith and courage. These people are such good examples for me. As imperfect as we all are, there are so many people around me that I can look up to in various ways. I'm grateful for good family and friends and their positive influence on me. I hope you, whoever you are, are equally blessed.

Cars

Cars. My kids love that movie, but unfortunately, this story isn’t quite as much fun.

Honda, Round 1: Where I live, we are required to have our cars tested for emissions. It all started with my van. I have a 2001 Honda Odyssey. It’s pushing 130,000 miles, so it shouldn't be too surprising to find things wrong with it. It failed its emissions test about a month ago. The OBD code told me it was related to the EGR system (too many acronyms, I know, but try to keep up). I paid the dealership to service the EGR system for me and they cleaned it out. Damage: $411.06.

Saturn, Round 1: Meanwhile, I took my sedan in for its emissions test. Now, this is a 1995 pushing 175,000 miles, so again, I shouldn’t be surprised here. I turned off the engine to save gas while waiting for the guy in front of me. When I went to start it again … nothing. No sound, no attempt to turn over. The nice guy at the test facility helped me push start it, we got it tested (it passed), and I took it home before turning it off again. I ended up replacing the starter motor and more recently, a negative battery cable. Ignition system works. Cost in parts: $137.79 + $3.99.

Honda, Round 2: After driving the van around for a few miles, the Check Engine light came back on. Hmm … since I had paid the dealership to service the EGR, I took it back to them. They told me a new code had come on indicating the catalytic converter was busted. Yes, I know it sounds fishy, but I saw the codes and I can see why this would happen. Dealership wants nearly $1000 to replace it. Forget that. I bought the converter and a few extra parts and installed it Wed and Thu of this week. It finally passed emissions on Thu and our car registration payment is on its way, just in time. Whew! Damage: $294.53 + $12.70 + $9.58 + 2 vacation days from work.

Saturn, Round 2: In the middle of installing the converter and searching for the right parts, my Saturn started acting funny. I had already messed around with the ignition system, but the engine wasn’t running right. It was sluggish, seemed to be vibrating too much, and making some extra sounds I wasn’t used to hearing. On Wednesday night, I ended up popping off the spark plug wires one at a time and with one of them came a splatter of oil. Oh no! I was in the middle of the converter install, the van up on jacks, and now my Saturn has oil on top of one of its spark plugs. I’m ready to cry. And I’m ready to drag both cars to the junk yard and start all over. A good friend of mine, Dean, helped me troubleshoot the car and even came over that night to help me clean out the cylinder, found some bolts I needed, and helped me finish prepping the converter for install the next day. That guy is a saint.

Honda, Round 3: After installing the converter on the Honda, I asked my wife to keep an eye and a nose out for exhaust leaks. The gaskets I found weren’t quite the right size, but I clamped them down anyway hoping they would make a seal. My wife, with her super sleuth nose, informed me that she did detect a bit of a smell and what’s more – the heater in the front quit working. WHAT’S GOING ON???!!!

Saturn, Round 3: Ok, so we’ve blown out the oil in the cylinder and I’ve purchased some carburetor cleaner for future use and some silicone to help seal the leaky valves. I then replaced the spark plugs and, when that didn’t seem to completely heal my poor car’s sluggishness, I also replaced the spark plug wires. Damage: $2.59 + $5.79 + $11.94 + $18.33. My Saturn isn’t perfect, but I think I’ve won this fight for now.

Honda, Round 4: Good news. My wife called this morning to inform me that my van’s heater worked today. Hooray! I have no idea what happened yesterday, but hopefully I can forget about that one for a little while. I think I’m feeling humble (and sore) enough to admit defeat on the exhaust leak and pay Meineke to put in some new gaskets for me. They told me $57 for labor and about $10 for parts.

For now, my cars have conceded me victory. Thankfully, we’ve been saving for a new car for several years and will be replacing the Saturn when the next big repair comes up. Both cars have actually been extremely reliable, but this past month has been such an aberration and a learning experience for me, I thought I would share. Estimated total damage: $975.

I Blog

Hi there! Welcome to my blog. It's very possible that I have nothing novel or interesting to say, but I'm interested in throwing my thoughts to the ether and seeing if anything bounces back. I'd like a place to be creative and try something new. I don't know what this blog will turn into, but at this point, I envision it as a place for friends and family to catch a glimpse into my soul. I live quite far from extended family and very close to immediate family and either extreme tends to obscure reality. Perhaps people I care about can get to know me through this strange electronic medium we call a "blog". I don't know what that word means, but unless I find it means something vulgar, I intend to blog.