Daryl Davis

I have had a feeling recently that I need to better understand the racism in our world today. I have been reading a lot about what it's like to be a black person in the US, and I have been amazed at my ignorance of the challenges that black people face. I know I am not alone. There are a lot of non-black people on a quest to better understand the problems of race from the perspective of black people.

But I have also had a feeling that I need to better understand racism from the opposite perspective. I want to know why some people think that skin color is a sufficient criterion to judge someone as inferior. I truly don't understand white supremacy - or any concept of racial superiority or inferiority. But I want to understand it. I want to know what makes people think this way. And I don't think that desire has been as common.

Last week, I stumbled on a TED talk given by a man named Daryl Davis. His story is beautiful and inspiring. As a black man, he befriended members of the Ku Klux Klan over many years in order to understand them. He engaged in respectful dialog, listening to their views, and sharing his own. As a result of these friendships and discussions, some of the men have left the KKK, though that was not Daryl's original intention. The video below is part of his story, focused on one particular member of the KKK.

Near the end of the video, Daryl says:

Take the time to sit down and talk with your adversaries. You will learn something, and they will learn something from you. When two enemies are talking, they're not fighting; they're talking. It's when the talking ceases that the ground becomes fertile for violence. So keep the conversation going.

I learned years ago that my greatest growth often came by paying attention to what was uncomfortable within me. Listening to my negative emotions helped me unravel them and make friends with them. Ignoring them only ensured they would stick around, grow in strength, and influence my behavior in negative ways. The application of that lesson to interpersonal relations is probably what has led me to this desire to understand white supremacy. It makes me uncomfortable, but ignoring it won't make it go away. With patience, kindness, and respect, perhaps I can understand it and help resolve it. As Daryl says of his conversation with one KKK leader:

I wasn't there to fight him. I was there to learn from him. Where does this ideology come from? Because once you learn where it comes from, you can then try to figure out how to address it and see where it's going.

Daryl Davis has done what I have only thought about. He has become my new hero. His story has inspired me to learn more. I don't think I'm ready to reach out to the KKK, but I do want to pursue the kind of insight into human nature that Daryl discovered. The goal isn't to convert anyone. The goal is to understand. And with that deeper understanding, perhaps I can bring a bit more wisdom to this problem and be a more effective agent for positive change.

A New Normal for Racism

So far, the year 2020 has been a crazy one. We have faced a global health crisis, which precipitated an economic crisis, which has contributed to an escalation of a long-standing moral crisis of racial conflict. In talking about the pandemic, people have used the phrase "a new normal" to discuss the long-lasting impact of the virus on our society. Perhaps we can extend that concept to the issue of race. Maybe it's time for a new normal.

While racism is global, it is particularly problematic in the US. Since I live in the US, and I'm more familiar with my country's history of racism than elsewhere, I'll focus on that.

In 1861, the United States began to fight a war over slavery and/or states rights, depending on who you ask. The abolitionists, primarily in the north, framed the conflict in terms of slavery. The south, believing their states' rights were being infringed by the federal government, framed the conflict in terms of states rights. Those differing points of view persist today, though most people see the conflict today the way the north framed it. In war, after all, the victor tends to write the history books. But both views are valid.

I was taught to view the conflict in terms of slavery. And considering the moral bankruptcy of such an institution, I prefer that view. It reminds us of the darkness of our past and forces us to come face to face with our collective demons. While the issue of states rights is a valid one, I find that view tends to reinforce and justify the ongoing racism that is still a plague on our culture. In my mind, the war was about slavery.

The US Civil War ended in 1865, but the conflict between races continued. This was especially true in the southern states, where many people viewed the recently liberated slaves as less capable, less intelligent, and less deserving of the rights and privileges bestowed upon them by US citizenship. This led to local persecutions, which sometimes led to violence. It also led to laws in many states that enforced a "separate, but equal" concept upon black people that turned out to be horribly unequal in most cases. And while it sometimes amazes me that it took as long as it did to come to a head, all of this eventually led to a social uprising in the 1950s and 1960s (almost 100 years after the war) known as the Civil Rights Movement, which ultimately led to the abolition of segregation and the repeal of many laws that enforced it.

Millions of people died in the Civil War. Millions more suffered in the aftermath, with persecution leading to the deaths of many more in the ensuing years. Almost a century later found us still fighting the same battles with fewer guns and fewer deaths, but with palpable pain and suffering nonetheless. And now, about 60 years after the Civil Rights Movement, in the wake of multiple incidents of black deaths at the hands of police over many years culminating in the horrific death of George Floyd in May 2020, the issue of race is gaining national (and global) attention with a force we haven't seen since the 1960s. George was not the first black person to die at the hands of police in what appears to have been a flagrant display of unnecessary force. But the details of his death at the hands of a police officer were sufficiently heinous to spark a flurry of protests that have gained momentum and are bringing this racial war to the forefront.

George Floyd, pinned to the ground by a police officer kneeling on his neck

My heart goes out to black people who are subjected to racism throughout their lives. I can't really fathom the difficulties that I have been hearing about recently. The way black people have to teach their children to behave when confronted by police is appalling. As a child, I was taught to behave respectfully toward law enforcement too, but with a LOT less fear that we would be randomly questioned or detained by police officers. And with no fear that we would be perceived as a threat just because of the way we looked. I know I have only the beginnings of an understanding of what it is like to be a black person in the US. I would like to better understand the challenges they face. At the moment, I confess that I struggle to understand their situation.

I also struggle to understand the philosophy behind white supremacy groups. I struggle to understand racism. I struggle to understand why I should treat anyone differently because of the color of their skin. I would like to understand why white supremacists think the way they do. I have heard people say that racism has no place in our public discourse, but I disagree. While I see racism as a social cancer, I don't think the cancer will go away if we ignore it or if we fight to suppress it. It will simply go into hiding, continue to fester, and explode in our faces at some difficult time in the future. I want to understand it. And perhaps, with that understanding, I can be a more effective agent of change.

During the Civil Rights Movement, we were fortunate in this country to have a man like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. There are a few people throughout history who have used love to bring about social or political change, and Dr. King was one of them. Agree or disagree with his political views, but it's difficult to find fault with a philosophy that leads a man to write something like:

Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.

And from my limited study of the man's life, he tried hard to live that philosophy. Inspired by his love of Christianity, the Bible, and the life and teachings of Jesus Christ, and inspired by Gandhi and his application of ahimsa (non-violence) to combat social injustice, Dr. King was a light to a society struggling to come to terms with its racially diverse population. Where racial tensions often led to hatred and violence, Dr. King preached a message of love and non-violence.

Hatred is the fundamental problem here. Love is the antidote. These intangibles reside in the heart. Ultimately, racism won't go away until we change our hearts, and that's a tall order. Religions and philosophies have been working on that for thousands of years with limited success. If I can change only one heart during my lifetime, the effort will have been worth it. But the only heart I can really change is my own. Though that sounds limiting, I have also found that as I purify my heart, making it more a source of love than hate, that love tends to radiate and inspire others to find a little more love in their own hearts. I know that's not very comforting for those who are currently victims of racism because a collective change of heart will probably take a LONG time to come about. But I think it is the ultimate answer to the problem.

In the short term, we need to continue the national dialog to better understand one another. We need to discuss the systemic issues that lead to racial profiling and unfair treatment. We need to explore ways to correct those systemic issues through positive change. I don't know what the answers are, but I am ready to listen. And I hope I can contribute to the solution in some way.

Let's build a new normal for racial relations. A new normal based on love. And perhaps, by working together, we can finally begin to realize Dr. King's dream.

The Indwelling Presence

I recently rediscovered some of the magic I found a few years ago when I first began meditating. A couple of months ago, I started re-reading Eckhart Tolle's book "The Power of Now". That book was an early inspiration for me, so I thought I'd go back to it and see if it could help me again. Early on in the book, Eckhart talks about a feeling of presence. Somehow, the words he used invited me to open a gate inside myself that I didn't realize was closed. As I focused on this 'presence', I felt something well up in me - a powerful sense of being, of aliveness. In its early stages, it often feels like tingling in my fingers and toes that slowly spreads to the rest of my body. But sometimes it rushes in quickly, like it did a few weeks ago. Focusing on the idea of a deep, indwelling 'presence' seems to be what did it for me that time.

In that state, everything starts to make more sense. Everything feels more connected and joyful. And everything seems more beautiful and radiant. I think maybe everything is always radiating, but I'm usually too distracted to notice. But somehow, by tapping into this presence inside of me, I was able to tear aside a curtain that was obscuring the depth of beauty in the reality all around me. And everything just glowed.

For about a week after my initial experience with it a couple months ago, I was able to tap into that presence in ordinary moments throughout the day. I didn't have to have my eyes closed. I didn't have to focus on my breathing. I didn't have to be meditating in any conventional sense - in fact, I think meditation, as I usually understand it, would be a distraction. I just opened to it, and I became intensely aware, intensely present, and intensely alive.

Meditation isn't what opened this experience to me. Not exactly. Meditation was more like a practice, or exercise of a muscle, that paved the way for the experience. In meditation, I focus on the breath, and I begin to distance my conscious awareness from the mental chatter in my mind. I begin to see clearly that I am not my thoughts or my emotions. I am deeper than them. They only feel like me when I allow them to sweep me up and make me feel lost inside of them. Meditation allows me to practice stepping outside of them and seeing them for what they are - ephemeral experiences that arise and fall like waves in the ocean. None of them stay for long unless I empower them. When I just watch them, they come and go like anything else in life.

When I meditate, I often use some object (typically the breath, but it could be something else) as a point of focus. But unless I let go of that object, I'm still stuck in a mental choke hold. The experience I'm describing requires an openness that goes beyond mental conceptions. Meditation by itself didn't unlock the experience for me. But armed with the practice of meditation, somehow all it took was a trigger for me to open up and fall out of myself. That's what it feels like happened, and yet, I think the 'self' I fell out of was just another ephemeral illusion. I fell into an ocean that is both my true self and larger than myself. I came home.

I think this is true meditation. I might start with an object, but when I let go of all mental constructs, I can fully wake up. And then my entire life becomes meditation. I meditate as I sit quietly, but I also meditate as I engage in conversations and activities. I start to live every aspect of my life fully awake.

For about a week, I could enter that state whenever I wanted. Then it faded. Kind of like it did a few years ago. I guess that makes me a spiritual yo-yo. Maybe that's ok. Ups and downs are part of life, right? Last week, I found the magic again with the help of Jack Kornfield, another one of my early inspirations. His book "A Path With Heart" was hugely transformational for me. In the last couple of weeks, I have been listening to some of his audio recordings, inspired by a sense that he has something I need. It's not so much what he says, but his presence, his love, his generosity of heart that I soak up while I listen to him. A few days ago, inspired by one of his podcasts, I had an incredible experience that felt every bit as powerful as my early magical experiences years ago. In some ways, it was more profound than the experiences I describe above from a couple of months ago. My wife noticed how happy I was that morning and most of the day. It lifted her up too. And by dinner time that day, I was depressed. 😊

It's funny now, but at the time, it was pretty frustrating. I experienced a massive emotional or spiritual swing in a 12-hour period, and there was nothing I could do about it. Thankfully, the next day was up again. I can't avoid the down times, so I try to accept them. And they are often wonderful catalysts for growth. While they're not pleasant, I believe it's possible to maintain a deep peace and equanimity in the midst of them that allows us to face our darkness with gentle curiosity and loving kindness.

I've had a concept growing in my mind recently, inspired by the ever-changing nature of reality, that maybe I have often used my spiritual experiences throughout life to fix what I perceive to be wrong in my life so that I can get back to living my life the way I want. But what I usually perceive to be my 'life' is not a static thing to come back to. Nor is my desired lifestyle necessarily a happy one. My perspective is somehow backwards. I sense a shift may be possible in which I begin to live from my spiritual nature and treat my physical life as a place I'm only visiting for a few years. I think I can begin to view the magical state as my true home, and my indwelling presence as my true life, while my physical body is just something I rent once in a while.

Perhaps with practice, the magical state I have described can become my 'normal' state. And my previously normal state of mental obscurity will become a thing of the past, remembered as something like a dream from which I have awoken.