What I thought was interesting was the reaction of some of the people who made comments on her post. There were four comments from people who felt strongly enough about feminism to state their disagreement with my friend's position. No supportive comments were made. That got me thinking enough to post about this.
I think it's great that women are more free right now than they have often been in history to pursue their lives in the way they think best. I think it's great that many women today feel empowered and able to choose what they want out of life. But although we have the feminist movement to thank in part for this progress toward freedom, there have been some undesirable side effects of the feminist program, in my opinion.
I think that feminism, taken to extreme, takes away some of what makes women feminine. My reaction to what my friend wrote about the play's ending was: "What the heck was Eric doing while Ariel was single-handedly saving the day?" That's great that Ariel was able to kill Ursula, but isn't it the man's job to protect his loved ones? What do we lose by rewriting the play such that Ariel is forced to take up the sword, trident, or whatever it was, and do the dirty work?
Somebody's got to do it, certainly, and if I'm not around and my family needs defending, I want my wife to feel empowered to do whatever it takes to protect them. But if I'm there, guess who's grabbing the gun. And that's not a misogynist act; it's a loving one. It's not an attempt to say that my wife is incapable of doing it, but rather, that it's my duty to do it. The truth is I am more capable of fighting than she is, but I don't take on the task because I seek to minimize or belittle her abilities. I do it because I love her. If someone's going to be on the front lines, I'd rather do it than have her put herself in danger for my sake.
Another reason I consider it my duty to do the dirty work is my belief that those kinds of acts are not exactly feminine. It seems to me that a woman loses something of her femininity by willfully engaging in violent acts. And by engaging in various other nonviolent acts in an attempt to show men that women are just as capable of doing everything men do, I think many women have lost much of their femininity. I think the extreme feminist agenda has taken away something of the incredible beauty of womanhood from many of the women who have bought into the feminist worldview.
Women don't need to be coddled, but there is something sweet about a man caring for his wife and doing things for her that she might be able to do herself, but doing them to show he cares for her. My wife likes to feel protected and she likes it when I'm at home because she feels more secure. I don't think she's a wimp because of that; I think she's a sweet woman who trusts me to take care of her.
There's a scene at the end of Disney's Tarzan where Tarzan and Jane are frolicking through the forest and the newbie is keeping up with the guy who's been 'snowboarding' on the treetops his whole life. In fact, she's doing just as well as he does. But somewhere in the middle of this romp, he catches her and she lets him hold her for a few seconds as if she were a little baby. Then they go back to their romp. I love that scene because I think it captures a little of what I think a healthy marriage relationship needs. Tarzan didn't feel threatened with Jane's snowboarding skills and she didn't feel the need to prove herself to him, but even though she became very capable, she wasn't afraid to be held. To me, it looked like an act of love not one of tyrannical dominion.
And about Triton disclaiming his authority as a father ... maybe it's old fashioned, but I think it's sweet when a man asks the father for permission to marry his daughter. That doesn't mean the father has the right to be a tyrant and abuse his authority. If he did - and I know that some do even without that quaint old custom - I might encourage the abused young couple to elope. But what's wrong with asking? Does it minimize a woman's freedom for her boyfriend to be respectful of her father's position?
I think the feminist movement has had some good come of it, but I'm afraid the net effect hasn't been very positive. I also believe, for example, that feminism has contributed to the breakdown of the family and although I didn't touch on it above, that connection makes the net effect extremely negative from my perspective.
After seeing the reaction to my friend's post, I think the beliefs I've outlined above may put me in the minority. Not that I care what others think in the sense that their beliefs don't threaten my beliefs or my feeling of self worth ... but I am curious about the prevailing sentiments. So what do you think of feminism? And don't be shy; I really would like to know. Even if you disagree with me. Especially if you disagree.
