Death at 31

I recently read an article by a young man who had been diagnosed with cancer. He had weeks to live when he wrote the article. He shares some lessons he has learned along the way, and I think those lessons are worth sharing further.

1. "Gratitude" - in the midst of a challenging time with mental and physical ups and downs, he found solace in remembering his friends and family, the good times he shared with them, and the privileges he has had in life.

2. "A life, if lived well, is long enough" - this man knew he was close to death, but he wasn't bemoaning the fact that his life was being cut short. He was at peace knowing he had made the most of the time he had.

3. "Be vulnerable and connect with others" - vulnerability seems like a weakness, but it's probably the opposite. It's the best way to authentically connect with others, something that brings us some of the greatest joys we can experience in life.

4. "Do something for others" - another way we experience deep joy.

5. "Protect the planet" - this guy had done a lot of traveling and had seen some amazing places. He was inspired by the natural beauty of the world, but felt we need to do a better job of protecting our natural home. This seems like a subset of #4, but it's an important one.

The man's name was Elliot Dallen, and he died on September 7, 2020, the day after his article was published. The article is worth reading. Life becomes more precious when we realize how little life we have left. Elliot sensed that, and his writing brought out life's beauty while squarely facing the difficulties of his situation. If you have about 5 or 10 minutes to spare, please take a look. I think you'll be happy you did.

Honest, Wise Men

In LDS scripture, a revelation is recorded as received by Joseph Smith, the Church's founder. In speaking of government leaders, the revelation states (D&C 98:10):

honest men and wise men should be sought for diligently, and good men and wise men ye should observe to uphold

I don't normally talk about politics, but I'm interested in hearing peoples' opinions on something.

I have been wondering at the support I have seen for President Trump among LDS friends. In light of the scripture above, I would think that for faithful LDS people, a person's character would be a critical factor in deciding who to support. And from what I can see, many people supporting Trump seem to be holding their noses while voting for him because they know he's not a good man. They admit his character is poor but believe he will support certain principles and policies they favor.

I wonder if I'm reading this right. I know I don't typically get feedback on my blog, and it's ok if I don't get a response here, but I'd like to hear from you on this. Are you LDS? Do you support Trump? If so, how do you reconcile that support with the scripture above?

Or perhaps you're LDS and you don't support Trump. I'd like to hear your thoughts on how your faith plays a factor in that decision, if at all. Does the scripture above play a role, or are there other more important factors?

And if you're not LDS, but you resonate with any of the above, please share your thoughts. For myself, though I don't agree with all LDS teachings, the scripture above still resonates with me. I believe character is critical in making decisions of who to support in leadership positions.

What do you think? What role does/should character play in electing officials?

Please state your opinions respectfully. We're in a very polarized political climate right now, and I would like to promote a kinder, gentler environment for the exchange of ideas. 😊 So ... safe space. Please share. Thanks.

A Simpler Teleology

Teleology is the philosophical study of purpose. Telos is Greek for 'end', 'purpose', or 'goal'. Teleology has a long history, going as far back as Aristotle (maybe farther), and serves as a goal- or purpose-oriented explanation for why things are the way they are.

Aristotle talks about four types of explanations: the material, formal, efficient, and final causes. The material cause deals with the matter of which the thing is composed. The formal cause deals with the form or design of the thing. The efficient cause deals with the agent by which the thing is made. The final cause is the telos of the thing, the purpose for which it was made.

I often think of these in terms of how we understand the question of why. If, for example, I ask, "why is the sun hot?", I might understand the question in various ways, leading me to give very different answers. Note the answers below are illustrative only and are not intended to be statements of absolute truth.

1. Material: the sun is largely made of hydrogen
2. Formal: the sun was designed to be hot
3. Efficient: heat is generated by fusion, primarily by fusing hydrogen into helium
4. Final: the sun is hot in order to warm the earth and make life possible here

My answer for the material cause above is meaningless unless paired with the efficient cause, as the presence of hydrogen by itself (the primary material contributing to the heat) is not a sufficient explanation for the heat. An alternative answer might be to say that the sun is made of heat, though that wouldn't make much sense in our modern world.

The formal cause here isn't very useful either. I could have said the sun is a sphere, but that has nothing to do with its heat.

An alternative answer of the efficient cause might be to say that God designed the sun to be hot. But I have chosen the more scientific answer to illustrate something.

In our modern world, we tend to favor the material and efficient causes as explanations when approaching a subject logically and rationally. Science favors the combination of these causes to explain various phenomena. In scientific explanations and modern philosophical discussions, we tend to de-emphasize the formal and final causes. But as human beings, we connect well with the narrative implied by the final cause. The final cause connects things to their purpose.

If we focus on the telos, or final cause, we may feel we need to explain everything that occurs by some ultimate, grand purpose of life. If we pursue the teleological chain to its logical end, it may lead us to God as the prime mover or something similar. With such a focus, we may become inclined to offer mystical or supernatural explanations for the efficient cause rather than the purely rational, naturalistic explanations typically offered by science. I'm not suggesting this is a bad thing; it's just an observation.

Teleological explanations can be satisfying to the soul, giving us a feeling of purpose in our lives. That can have a big psychological benefit up to a point. But the need to offer a teleological explanation to everything can also be a huge psychological burden. It's exhausting and can become crippling. Life is a complex web of interconnected beings, objects, and forces whose actions all affect one another in unknown ways. To seek an answer to the question 'why' for anything and everything that might happen in our lives may seem pious to the devout religionist - it's a natural response to a belief in an omnipotent God. If God can control everything, then surely there is a reason that this particular thing is happening to me right now. But that obsession with explaining everything can leave us mentally whirling in endless circles with no real benefit.

Sometimes things just are. There's no why. There's no because. They just are.

Why does the wind blow? Because it does. It didn't blow in order to make you cold. It didn't blow to break your umbrella so you would get wet in the rain. It didn't blow to make you feel good on a hot day. It just blew. It's what it does.

I'm reminded of the song "Roll the Bones" by Rush. To roll the bones means to toss the dice. Lyrics from the song: "Why does it happen? Because it happens. Roll the bones." Toss the dice. Play the game. Live your life. Don't worry about the why. It happened. It's your turn. Roll the bones.

There's a lot of wisdom in that. It's not an attitude of 'I don't care.' It's a purposeful move beyond telos to a life that is lived fully, in the present moment. Getting caught up in the teleology of everything only pulls us out of our lives and gets us stuck in our heads.

So don't worry about the purpose of everything. Let it go. And live your life fully. Joyfully. Every moment.

But that's hard. Teleology, or purpose, is important to us psychologically. What if we can't just let go? How do we handle the question of why? Maybe one answer is that the purpose of this moment is simply to have the experience you're having. Perhaps experience is its own purpose. Each new experience, whether we label it good or bad, helps us grow. Maybe that can be the answer to our soul's longing. Maybe teleology doesn't have to connect everything in one massive logical chain. Maybe the telos, or purpose, of this moment is simply ... this moment.

It's a simpler teleology. No causal chain to invent and maintain. This moment is the purpose. Just this.

Connecting With Our Source

 I think I'm finally beginning to understand what meditation is all about.

When I was a kid, I learned to meditate in a karate class. We were taught a very simple method, and I took it as the goal of meditation for many years. We were taught to empty our minds of all thought. That's a useful, if impossible, exercise. It can give you a bit more control of your mind as you develop some mental discipline through the effort. But as it's ultimately impossible, emptying the mind can't be the true objective.

Many years later, I found unbelievable peace through meditation. It healed me like no other practice had done before. And for a while, I thought that peace was the objective. Peace is a wonderful product of meditation - sometimes. But there's no guarantee you'll feel peace. And if we can't guarantee the result, perhaps peace isn't the real purpose of meditation either.

At other times in meditation, I have experienced intense bliss. This seems like a great outcome, but like peace, I can't make it stay around. So bliss probably isn't the real objective either.

I now believe that the objective of meditation is simply bringing our awareness to the source of our awareness. When I do that, I plug into that Source, which seems to be both me and much larger than me. And that practice of connecting with this Source is liberating and empowering.

It reminds me that I am not this limited body in which I find myself. It reminds me that I am connected to a much wider reality than what I experience every day. And it infuses me with a love, a joy, and a peace that is beyond anything I can describe. While this practice gives me the power to distance myself from my thoughts and emotions, I am also enabled to live more fully present, accepting every moment as it comes without judgment. Life becomes easier somehow. And the states of bliss and peace I described earlier start to become a more common occurrence. Though they are not the objective of meditation, they are its natural fruits.

Questions like "who am I?" can be extremely powerful in directing our attention during meditation. Such questions may seem obvious to the mind, which will spit back any number of answers without any trouble. But if we move beyond the mind's easy answers, recognizing how transient those answers are, we begin to see how impossible it is to actually answer the question. If we persevere, allowing the uncertainty and wonder of our nature and existence to work upon us, we begin to come toward the seat of consciousness itself. We begin to approach our Source.

As we get used to it, we can learn to touch the Source by simply turning our attention inward. It becomes easier to do. And we start to see how we are like branches on a tree. Most of the time, our attention is focused outward. But if we look back, we recognize how connected we are to everything else. We see that by harming our fellow branches, we're ultimately harming ourselves ... because we're all one tree. And we can more easily take in the life-giving sap that's always flowing into us, but which we're usually too distracted to notice, process, and appreciate. We soak in the love that's all around us, and we naturally become better, more patient, more kind, more compassionate. Life becomes our friend instead of our enemy. And we rest in the present moment.

This is the peace that transcends all understanding that Jesus (John 14:27) and Paul (Philipians 4:7) talked about. But it doesn't come by focusing on peace or by actively seeking it. It comes through awareness, insight, and surrender. It comes by understanding who and what we truly are as we connect with our Source.

Letting Go of our Garbage

There is a man in Alachua, Florida named Mickey Singer. I found him through one of his books called "The Surrender Experiment", and I really resonated with him. I was so drawn to his experiences that I decided to visit him at his "Temple of the Universe" a few months ago. I enjoyed hearing him speak, and then spoke to him briefly in private. He's a fascinating guy. Since the pandemic started, he has been posting his talks on his website. I listened to one of his recent talks, and it inspired me to write the following. To be fair, most of what follows came from Mickey. I am paraphrasing some of what he said and summarizing the main ideas that spoke to me. Hopefully they'll be useful to someone else too.

Temple of the Universe in Alachua, Florida 

Every single thing that happens to us is for our benefit if we are willing to let go and enjoy the ride. It's only when we 1) cling to what we want or 2) resist what we don't want that our lives become a living hell.

By letting go, we allow ourselves to live in the moment. Each action we take becomes an end unto itself. We cease to work for money - we work for the sake of the work we're doing. We cease to interact with loved ones for what we can get out of the relationship - we interact with them for the sake of the interaction. We cease to look for ends and results other than the experience we are having at the moment.

And this can be fulfilling when we recognize that every experience we have makes us a better person. If it's a pleasant experience, we enjoy the pleasantness. If it's an unpleasant experience, we open to it and grow from the challenge it presents.

No more struggle. Life becomes peaceful. The world becomes friendly. There are no more enemies. Every one and every thing that touches our lives works for our good (Romans 8:28) because we use every experience to become a greater being. Everything in the world becomes God to us, lifting us up and helping us reach our full potential.

So it really comes down to letting go and living in the moment. But how do we let go? We have to learn to relax in the midst of trouble. And meditation is a great tool for helping us do that. It can train us to become more conscious and aware of everything that's going on regardless of circumstance.

With this combination of focus and relaxation, a kind of intense state of rest, we can begin to see clearly as garbage we have stored in our psyches begins to come up. As it arises, we can become conscious enough to look at it without getting mixed up in it. We watch it do its thing, and by not investing it with our energy, we begin to let it go.

The practice of focusing our attention on something other than our minds gives us the ability to distance ourselves from the mental chatter when our emotions start to go crazy because something happens that triggers the garbage we have stored inside. Meditation is training for the real spiritual/psychological work that happens when life gets hard. It give us the tools to let go. It enables us to become comfortable being uncomfortable. We recognize when we're not ok - and we're ok with that.

It might take many experiences with a single piece of garbage, whatever it is, before we're able to release it. It could be a traumatic experience in our past or a fear of something that might happen in the future. But whatever it is, if we keep at it, it will eventually disappear. And piece by piece, we will gradually remove the sewage in our psyches, and having cleansed our souls, we'll begin to live more deeply and authentically. Our entire lives can become free, and we simply live life instead of doing battle with it.

Beginner's Mind

We have a tendency to become accustomed to our reality so that what is familiar to us becomes trite and boring. What we are familiar with is easier to ignore than something new and exotic. New surroundings grab our attention and draw us in. It's one of the things I enjoy about travel.

But every thing has beauty, regardless of whether we have seen it before. Our acclimatization to our reality does not have to lead to a devaluation. When we become used to something, we think we know it. And we see it through the lens of the mental model we have constructed. But actually, we cease to see it for what it is and only perceive the model of it that we have created in our minds.

We think we understand it, but we only know it at a snapshot in time and probably only at a surface level. We close ourselves off to the depth and dynamic nature of the thing, and it loses some of its magic.

We do this with relationships too. We think we know someone so we stop paying attention to who they really are. Instead, when we interact with them, we're really interacting with the reflection of them that we hold in our minds. I have often wondered why it is harder to treat the people who are close to us with the patience and kindness that we often show to strangers. I think this is part of the answer. Familiarity leads us to devalue the thing and abstract it away from reality. This phenomenon has led to aphorisms like "familiarity breeds contempt" (we devalue the familiar) and "absence makes the heart grow fonder" (spending time apart can make things less familiar, and the reunion feels more fresh).

There is a concept in Buddhism called Beginner's Mind. The idea is to let go of preconceptions and bring to every moment the simple curiosity of a child. Everything is new. Everything has something to teach us. We accept our inability to truly know anything, so we drop all preconceptions, and we enter into each moment afresh, letting it fill us and teach us. When we do that, we begin to see through the facades and illusions we have created (our static mental models), and we begin to touch the depth of reality in every moment.

Not all mental models are bad. Some are quite useful. They can help us make sense of things and make decisions based on limited information. The problem comes when we take those models too seriously. If we mistake them for reality, we're living an illusory life. We can use them as tools while always being willing to question them. And we can drop them whenever possible so we can see reality fresh.

Some mental models are less useful. My pride, fueled by fear and a feeling of insignificance, generates mental models of my world with me at the center. These models are a powerful mix of truth and lies that keep me from experiencing the fullness of reality. Pride is a tightening and a closing off. Humility is a release and an opening to what is. To be humble, I've learned I just need to stay open. When I do, I can drop the ego-generated mental models and, like a child, view my world with eyes of wonder. I think maybe this is what Jesus meant when he said, "Except ye ... become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven." (Matt 18:3). Maybe we just need to stay open, living every moment like a child with eyes wide open.

Falling Awake

Waking up spiritually is a falling awake. It's not about effort. It's more about easing into it. Like you're falling asleep - except you're waking up. Waking to life as it is, without wishing it to be other than it is.

We're all so lost in our own stories. Stories about how life should be. Waking up is a radical kind of acceptance, a submission to life just as it is, and a dropping of all the stories and the story-making.

Acceptance and surrender are at the root of freedom from suffering. But acceptance of what is doesn't mean we can't act to make things better. It just means we start with a clear view of what is, and we accept whatever comes, whether we succeed in our efforts or not. We let go of the results.

True happiness and freedom come from choosing what we have, loving our life, regardless of our circumstances. Being happy with what we have instead of wanting what we don't have.