My Response to the Coronavirus

It was Friday, March 13, and I was getting ready for a business trip to Los Angeles. I was scheduled to fly out Sunday and was looking forward to some great vegan food at a restaurant I found there a couple of weeks before. Then I got an email from my employer cancelling all non-essential travel.

Bummer.

I may have been a bit too confident in my immune system's ability to handle illness. And I definitely underestimated how contagious the coronavirus was. I certainly didn't have the foresight to see where this virus was taking us. I had been feeling cautious about the trip and was planning how to keep myself and surrounding surfaces sanitary to avoid exposure as much as possible. But I wasn't nervous about the trip.

I probably should have been.

Watching the spread of the virus in the United States has been sobering. Because of the virus' incubation period, our current understanding of the spread is, at best, like looking in the rear view mirror, giving us information about the true contagion from a week or two ago. But we're also underestimating the extent of the spread in the past because of the lack of ubiquitous testing today. So it's almost certainly worse than we know. Seeing where things likely were a couple of weeks ago when I would have been in LA makes me grateful that my employer was feeling more cautious about the situation than I was feeling. Friday the 13th turned out to be my lucky day.

Picture of a coronavirus from National Foundation for Infectious Diseases website

Who knows whether the travel would have exposed me to the virus. It certainly would have increased the probability. Instead of traveling, though, I have spent the last two weeks isolated in my home with my family. This is both awesome and frustrating. Cabin fever is tough. I'm finding it harder to exercise, which makes me physically weaker and puts a strain on my mental health. And the isolation takes a toll on me psychologically. It has been a challenge to adapt.

But being forced to share the same space, with little variety in our routine, has led to some awesome times together as a family. Earlier this week, we had a family music night where people played piano, guitar, ukulele, requested and sang songs, and laughed together as we made music. We have had family dinners together every night, talking, joking, annoying one another, and getting to know each other better. We have had family game nights and solved puzzles together. We have had family movie nights, with last night being the culmination of stupidity when we stayed up playing video games and decided to start a movie at 2am. It was so much fun.

I feel like this virus is forcing us to slow down, forcing us to reconnect with loved ones, and giving us space to dig inside ourselves and discover who we are and what we're made of. It is a gift. Packaged in horrific wrapping.

I feel so much sadness for people in Italy and New York who are struggling, suffering, and facing difficult choices of who to treat and who to abandon to their suffering and possible death. I feel such a heavy weight when I contemplate the spread of the virus across the world, and increasingly in the U.S. We may all soon be where New York is now if we're not careful. Or maybe it's too late, and we'll get there no matter what we do. I feel so sad when I think about the economy and its impact on poor people, who were living paycheck to paycheck and have now lost their jobs.

Coronavirus spread from Johns Hopkins interactive map (3/28/20)

I have no solutions to these problems. But in spite of the heaviness and sadness, when I quiet my mind and look inside, I find a place in me that is beyond the chaos. A place of peace. A place of quiet joy and delight in the miraculous complexity of life in this world. I like to visit that place regularly to remind myself that we will be ok. We will struggle. We will suffer. Many have died and many more will die before it's all over. But we will be ok.

Every challenge is an opportunity. A chance to look inside and decide whether we want to grow or shrink as a result of the challenge. A chance to decide what's important and to focus our attention and energy on the things that bring us joy and fulfillment. A chance to move beyond the masks and the fake veneer that sometimes cover the deep authenticity of being - and to decide to live more fully, more authentically, "and not, when [we come] to die, discover that [we have] not lived" (Thoreau).

Most of us will survive this challenge. Most of us will be forever marked by the experiences we're having right now. Most of us will forever remember the coronavirus and how it changed our world. We have an opportunity now and in the coming months to decide what that world will look like. I hope, whatever we choose, that our world may bring a little more light, love, and compassion into our lives and the lives of those we love.

May you all be well. Here's to us.

Fat Women

I read an article last week that got me thinking about the way our society views women. It's a rather raw, uncensored view from a woman who experienced a change in the way men viewed and interacted with her as she went through a change in her body shape. It was really well-written, but the language and themes were a bit harsh. Given my style is seriously muted in comparison, I was tempted not to link to it, but that didn't seem fair, so ... here you go.

And for the rest of you, here's my sanitized summary of the article and my thoughts on it. The author had gotten a parasite in her intestinal tract. It took a week or two before a doctor finally diagnosed her problem correctly. After vomiting for several weeks, her previously well-rounded body withered and she became pretty skinny. It was interesting to read her description of the increased attention she received from men after her massive weight loss. Equally interesting was the reduced attention she saw many months later as she slowly rounded out again. She posted plenty of pictures of herself, both skinny and large. I didn't see her as fat, but there was definitely a strong contrast between the two sizes. To me, she looked beautiful in both forms.

The drop-off in attention she reported was a bit sad, but predictable. I tend to think that American men's preference for skinny women is not completely biological. I think it's largely psychological and cultural. And I think it's unfortunate. But I also thought it was sad the way the author seemed to think that her skinny figure was somehow less than ideal. She spoke of looking like a child and thinking it strange that men found that attractive. She used stronger language than that, but you get the idea.

I have noticed a trend of women fighting back against society's emphasis on the ideal, thin figure of a woman. And I think that's mostly a healthy thing. But I think, in their rebellion, some women, thinking to have freed themselves, have continued their enslavement to the culture by allowing it to continue to dictate to them the battle lines. They may have switched sides, but they're still perpetuating the war. It's thin vs. fat. And if you disagree with society's fixation on skinny women, then you take the side of the fat women. But mocking the thin form won't help us win the war.

My wife, Emily, was an extremely skinny teenager. When we married, she was still incredibly thin. I was attracted to her, but even at that time, I remember thinking it wouldn't be a terrible thing for her to add a little weight. Since then, she and I have both gone through some weight fluctuations. After marriage, I gained about 60 pounds and later took most of it off. That's an interesting story too, but I'm focused on women's shapes here, so I'll summarize my experience by saying that Emily loved me when I was thin and she loved me when I got a little fatter. And that steadiness of support was really wonderful.

Emily has gone through some weight fluctuations too, but a little less drastic than mine. And those changes have been challenging for her psychologically. But the way her body has fleshed out in recent years makes her, in my view, incredibly beautiful. She was beautiful when she was thin. And she is beautiful now that she has more curves. She has a desire to lose a little weight. She's not too fat, in my opinion, but losing a few pounds would probably be a healthy thing to do. And I support her in that. She has made a little progress in the last few weeks and, as she succeeds, I will miss the extra curves a little. But she'll be beautiful in her new form too.

Thin vs. fat. This war, one of many, seems to be quietly raging in our society. But maybe the war is just stupid. And maybe the only way to win the war is not to fight it. Instead of fighting with each other over which modality is preferable, maybe we can change the way we see women on a fundamental level. Maybe we can begin to see them as just ... women. Just beautiful. And maybe, if we can do that, we can begin to raise our young women to be confident and happy in their skin. No matter what body shape they may have. Thinking of my own daughters, that seems like a really cool gift to give to our beautiful young girls.

Stress is NOT the Enemy

My mom sent me the video below a couple days ago. I thought it was so inspirational. It is fairly long about 14.5 minutes, but please take some time to watch it.

Takeaways for me:

1. Stress doesn't kill, but our beliefs about stress do, so change your beliefs. Faith is powerful.
2. Trust your body's response to stress. This leads to courage instead of avoidance.
3. Seek to connect with people when going through challenges. Our bodies prompt us to do that, so pay attention to those cues. Sharing our burdens with loved ones and helping carry theirs is a lot more fun than trudging through life alone. Caring creates resilience.
4. When making big decisions in life, pursue meaning first and then have the faith that you can deal with whatever stress follows.

I think the video is wonderfully inspirational. I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know what you think!

Piriformis Syndrome

For several weeks, I've been having pain in my right leg. I describe it as tightness that seems to get worse as I bend my back forward. It has been especially painful every time I get in or out of my car.

It has been getting worse recently and it reached its climax while I've been on vacation with my family in Florida. It became so painful that I couldn't sit down or stand up without intense pain shooting down my leg. I finally went to a walk-in clinic last Saturday. After talking with me and manipulating my leg a little bit, the doctor was convinced that I have piriformis syndrome. The way he described it, one of the muscles in the lower back, upper buttocks region, called the piriformis, has a hole in it through which the sciatic nerve passes. Looking online, that doesn't appear to be true for everyone. For those people whose sciatic nerve doesn't pierce the piriformis, the nerve may be surrounded by the piriformis, other muscles, and/or part of the hip bone. But I'm not entirely sure how those pieces all fit together.

In any case, it appears that when the piriformis muscle becomes tight for long periods of time, it can become inflamed or produce spasms that pinch the sciatic nerve causing pain to shoot down the leg. This makes me feel a little more sympathetic to my wife who endured some sciatic pain during pregnancy. The pain has been pretty awful.

To help me enjoy my vacation a little more, the doctor gave me some steroids to reduce inflammation, muscle relaxants, and pain medicine. The pain medicine has helped me sleep a little better and the other two seem to have given me incredible relief. I no longer feel pain changing positions, though there is still a sense of tightness and occasional slight pain. It appears the drugs will get me through in the short term and then some kind of physical therapy will be needed to fix the problem more permanently.

Reading up on the syndrome, it appears that periods of prolonged sitting can be a cause of the syndrome. I found this article to be particularly helpful. I certainly do a lot of sitting at work, but it may be that the drive to Florida was enough to help me reach my climax of pain once we got here.

I have thought a lot recently about the stress I'm under at work and the impact it has had on my health and family. I am confident that this muscle problem has been exacerbated by the stress I've been enduring and I have concluded that the stress is simply not worth it. I have to make some changes in my work situation to relieve some of that stress. What exactly those changes will be, I don't know yet, but I have a few ideas I'm kicking around.

Witch Doctor

I started seeing a chiropractor a couple months ago who uses a method called the Bio-Energetic Synchronization Method (BEST). It's weird.

I had never been to a chiropractor before, but several things prompted me to try him. The folks who had recommended the herbal cleanse to me also recommended this guy. Following the cleanse, my dandruff and my allergies started to come back and at the end of my cleanse, I was congested for weeks. It was far too long for a virus and it was extremely frustrating because none of my medications were able to do much about it. Some of them helped a little, but nothing cleared me up completely.

So I went to see this guy, once again with the thought that, having tried everything modern medicine can offer except allergy shots, any kind of natural/alternative treatment was worth a try. Funny how I equate natural with alternative ...

He has me lay down on an adjusting bench and for the next hour or so, I hear a lot more preaching than physical treatment. He's a really nice older gentleman with an infectious smile and a personality that I really enjoy. His method makes no sense to me, so I affectionately call him the witch doctor. But, scientist that I am, though I would really like to understand his methodology, after a few experiences with him, I'm convinced that it works. So when I visit him, I lay aside my need to analyze everything to some extent and just put my faith in him and his method.

The BEST method, as far as I can tell, lays on a philosophical foundation similar to ancient Chinese medicine. It assumes the existence of energy in the human body that seems to be indiscernible to any kind of measurement system we have available. I don't think I've heard the witch doctor use this word, but I equate it with the concept of qi or chi (pronounced 'chee'). It consists in strength testing to determine what is wrong with my body/energy/mind/spirit/whatever and then some really weird treatments. Some of the treatments seem like traditional chiropractic adjustments of joints to help things flow better in the body. Some of them include him finding and touching two points on my body simultaneously while I hold my breath. Some of them are so weird, I don't even know how to describe them.

Within two days after my first appointment with the witch doctor, my congestion was completely gone. It started breaking up during my appointment and accelerated over the next two days. After about six weeks of congestion, the timing seemed to be a bit more than just coincidental. One time I went to see him and was feeling off balance inside. I don't know how else to explain it, but it was like there was a hole inside me and everything felt wrong. At the end of the appointment, I felt great. I think I've seen him four times now and after each session, I feel better overall.

At my last appointment, we talked about dandruff. It was still bothering me even though I had started using dandruff shampoo and had been using it for a couple of weeks. During my herbal cleanse, I had stopped using it and the dandruff only came back after the cleanse was over. He did his voodoo on me and told me my liver was weak and suggested I cleanse that first followed by the kidneys. He knew about the herbal cleanse I had done, so he knew I had something that was supposed to cleanse those organs. I started using the herbs about a week ago, stopped using dandruff shampoo, and the dandruff appears to be completely gone. Weird.

I'm not sure if I'll ever really understand the BEST method, but based on the empirical data, I'm going to keep seeing the witch doctor and see if I can get my body into shape to be able to heal itself and function properly. As a scientist who's always obsessed with understanding the model connecting the observations with the physical phenomena, it's kind of refreshing to simply put my faith in the method without really having a clue as to how it works.

Herbal Cleanse Finale

I officially finished my herbal cleanse regimen last week ... and like the idiot I am, I added another week. I had the feeling that I should continue with three of the four pills for one more week, so I'm REALLY finishing today. Seriously. For real this time.

I had the feeling that the blood cleanser supplements may have been filling my bloodstream with garbage from surrounding tissues and the other three were helping my body to dispose of that junk. I also caught the flu about two weeks ago and I was feeling really awful at the time I should have been stopping the pills. I felt like those herbs might help my body process everything it was fighting a little better.

Oddly enough, the symptoms I've had with this flu have been exactly the same as I had when I caught the flu about 10 months ago. I've had the flu three times in my life ... twice in the last year? Maybe the herbs knocked loose a virus that lay dormant in my body? I have no idea, but it's a little too weird not to suspect something like that.

Near the end of my cleanse, I noticed some bumps forming on my head. Similar bumps had formed on my legs and arms earlier and then had faded. I thought maybe the head was finally getting the good stuff after having the lower parts worked on for a few weeks. About the same time, that old itchy pre-dandruff feeling hit me. I have fought dandruff for years and have tried several times to get off dandruff shampoo without success ... so I'm familiar with that itchy feeling that comes before my scalp falls apart. So far, the itch has come and gone ... and come again, but so far, no flakes. And it has been 2-3 months since I used any of that shampoo. The shampoo has a chemical in it that I decided wouldn't really be in keeping with the whole idea of cleansing, so I stopped using it. So far so good ...

I've maintained about a 15 pound loss and it feels stable. Except for the flu symptoms which have flared up, died down, and flared up again, I feel really healthy. I'm going to give my body a week or two to rest from all those herbs and then I've got a few cleansing and immune boosting herbs I want to try to see if I can reduce my allergic reactions. All in all, I'm pretty happy with how this cleansing experiment has turned out. If any of you out there have done something similar, I'd love to hear about it. If you decide to try what I tried, feel free to contact me with questions. I'd be happy to share more of my experiences.

Herbal Cleanse Update

As I discussed previously, Emily and I have been doing an herbal cleanse to see if we can't shape up these old bodies a little bit. The reason we got into it in the first place was to help me reduce or eliminate my allergy symptoms, which have become pretty nasty lately.

I started on a pretty strict diet several weeks before taking any supplements ... mostly to see if I could do it. The diet is intended to enable the herbs to do their jobs. If I'm gumming up the digestive tract with junk, I can't really cleanse my body very well. So, I began a diet of vegetables, fruits, beans, nuts, seeds, and whole grains and I found I was able to reduce my allergy symptoms dramatically - maybe 90% - by eliminating certain foods. After experimenting a little, I think dairy is the biggest culprit.

Dairy - it tastes great, but it's killin' me

Since I started the herbs, though, some weird things have been happening. I reported in the previous post that I had done a sinus cleanse and all my old sinus problems seemed to come back with a vengeance before going away ... well, it seems that a detox hurts before it helps. The toxins hurt on the way in, impair you while you store them, and they hurt on the way out. The first thing I noticed was a few small nodules on my skin that seemed to be holding something that wanted out. They weren't large and it wasn't disgusting - sort of like small zits - but they erupted in several places, localized in parts of my arms and legs.

A week or two into it, I noticed a couple of warts appearing in the exact same places where I had had warts previously. It seems the herbs were encouraging the viruses to exit the body ... and they did. They're gone now.

About a week ago, I got a couple of cold sores in my mouth. Very painful ones. One was a nodule on the tip of my tongue that hurt a lot more than its small size would have suggested. Another on my cheek that started out as a big open sore - it's still there. Not quite as open, but it hurts.

I think my weight has stabilized. Hopefully no more weight loss; I can't really afford it. I have cheated on the diet and eaten meat several times and I think that has helped me stabilize my weight. When I'm traveling for work like I was this last week, it's hard to stay off meat completely, but I think I can get by with one or two meat dishes a week and still be cleansing pretty well.

Exactly one week ago, I started to feel congestion building, a bit of post-nasal drip. And I thought - 'oh great; it's cleansing the sinuses', but it turned out to be a cold. I don't know whether a cold virus can lie dormant in the body or not - I'm thinking I may have simply caught the cold - but maybe it's related to the herbs ...

In general, I feel healthier than normal and I think these herbs are doing good things for me. I'm sure the improved diet has done wonderful things for me. We are finishing week 5 of 8, so three more weeks to go. I'm sure I'll post more fun developments as I finish this 8 week course. Wish me luck!

Juice Fast and Herbal Cleanse

About three weeks ago, mostly inspired by the documentary "Fast, Sick, and Nearly Dead", Emily and I decided to try a juice fast. We did it for four days and felt really good about it. We have been planning to do an herbal cleanse for several weeks and decided we'd put it off another week so we could start with a juice fast. It was really hard the first two or three days, but not too bad the fourth. Emily ended up feeling sick near the end and had to eat some food. I felt like I had more energy at the end, but I also felt like I needed more substance at that point.

Then, about two weeks, we began taking some herbal supplements that supposedly help cleanse the body of toxins. I had tried some herbal cleansing of my sinuses a couple months ago and felt like all my worst sinus problems came back as the herbs, obviously doing something, seemed to be breaking up mucus and clearing out all the junk my body had produced and/or stored in that area. This lasted maybe 3-4 days and then I felt quite a bit clearer, the nasty symptoms slowed down and then stopped, and I felt like things were moving the way they were supposed to. Based on that experience, I have felt motivated to see what a whole body cleanse might do for my allergies and overall health.

Herbal Supplements

Since the juice fast and the last two weeks of herbal treatments with a diet of vegetables, fruits, beans, nuts, seeds, limited whole grains ... and not much else, I've lost about 12-13 pounds in three weeks. I wasn't expecting that, but my stomach does look a little better and I have mostly felt better. I got a bit dizzy and lethargic a couple days ago and, not really wanting to lose any more weight, I decided to introduce a little meat into my diet, which seems to be helping my dizziness/weakness and I think may be helping my weight to stabilize. I think the diet had more to do with the weight loss than the herbs, but the herbs have definitely had an effect on my digestive system - in a good way. Things are definitely working better in that department.

This coming week begins the full regimen of herbs including a combination that supposedly cleanses the bloodstream. I'll report on further positive/negative symptoms as I go along. I can't promise it will be regular or timely (see my posting track record - not always really good), but I'll do my best.

For the sake of posterity (and you, dear reader, if you're interested), the herbal combinations were inspired by Dr. Christopher and sold under his name. He died several years ago, but his company continues to operate. Although we're taking them slightly different than prescribed, the cleansing kit found here contains all the herb combinations we're using.

Fat, Sick, & Nearly Dead

Emily and I watched a documentary last night called "Fat, Sick, & Nearly Dead". It was really cool! Similar to the idea behind a documentary we watched recently called "Forks Over Knives", but a little different. The movie last night showed the progress of several peoples' health as they conducted vegetable/fruit juice fasts. The results were amazing and inspiring.

The guy making the documentary, Joe, lost a LOT of weight by doing a 60-day juice fast. The picture above shows a before and after version of Joe. Joe made his own juice from fresh vegetables and some fruit. He was able to eliminate his prescription medication completely - medicine that was intended to help control a pretty annoying autoimmune disease - can't remember the name right now.

He traveled across the US for the second half of his fast and talked to a lot of people. Most of the people he talked to seemed to think he was crazy for doing the fast. But some of them expressed interest and a few actually followed his example and tried it. He met a man at a truck stop who had the same rare autoimmune disease and this guy decided to try a 10-day fast. He started out at well over 400 pounds - I think it was around 460. After 10 days, he felt so much better and had lost so much weight, he decided to continue it for a full 60 days. Over the next few months, he lost over 200 pounds and it was so cool to see the before and after. Not just the physical, but the mental and emotional state of the guy. He became so much happier and more confident.

Emily and I are planning to do an herbal-assisted cleanse over the next couple months. After watching this movie, I think we're going to try a week-long juice fast to start it out. I'm excited to see what it can do.

One thing I've taken away from these two documentaries is the potential for a plant-based diet to dramatically improve health and guard against some of the chronic diseases so prevalent in western society. I've seen some improvement in my own health from experimenting with such a diet and I'm going to experiment with this diet more in the next few months. I'm hoping I can report some happy results from that experiment as I go along.

One version of such a diet is shown in the following food pyramid by Dr. Fuhrman. I think it makes a lot more sense than the food pyramid published by the FDA.

Plant-based diet food pyramid

Forks over Knives

Emily has been trying to get me to watch a documentary called 'Forks over Knives' for several months. I guess I never understood what it was about because it took me a while to find the motivation to watch it. It's REALLY interesting!

It attempts to make the case that many of the chronic illnesses we enjoy in our western societies are directly linked to our western diet. That wasn't a new idea for me, but it was fascinating to see several pieces of evidence that pointed to a specific diet for halting and even reversing the progression of certain diseases. The "cure" is a plant-based diet.

I've always felt that limiting meat intake was a good idea, but this video suggested that eliminating meat and ALL animal-based products was the way to go. And I found it hard to argue with their data. One point was made that I had heard before, but that really sunk in this time because it was given in the context of so much supporting evidence. Cows' milk, which is supposed to be so healthy for us, is really a food that nature has produced for calves. Taking milk from one species and giving it to another does seem a bit ... unnatural. The video asserts that milk products, like all other animal products, produce some unwanted side effects in our bodies.

If you've read this far, you might be interested in watching the video. Check it out. If you have Netflix, you can stream it online. And let me know what you think.

Allergies

I had some allergy tests done today. The doctor told me he hasn't seen someone as sensitive as I am in about six months. I thought that was good news, so I told my wife what a sensitive guy I am. The doc thought that put me in the top 1% or so among allergy sufferers. A bit of an unscientific guess, but I'm proud of the estimate.

So now I'm looking at the possibility of allergy shots and wishing there was a more natural, long-lasting solution, but I'm seeing very few options. I wish I understood my body a little better.

I think one way to look at allergies is an overreaction of the body's natural defenses. We react to something that isn't really a threat, but we do so because our body's defensive cells don't recognize certain substances as friendly or benign. There are a lot of health issues that can crop up when our body has this kind of misunderstanding. Blood type mismatches, organ type mismatches, even type I diabetes, I believe, where our defensive cells fail to recognize the markers on cells in the pancreas and they attack it, disabling its ability to produce insulin. This is the western view of the body and it works pretty well.

That got me thinking a few months ago of our body reacting to impurities. And then, as I often do, I made a leap to spiritual things. I realized that being sensitive wasn't always a bad thing and I prayed that I might be as sensitive to spiritual impurities as I am to environmental allergens. Wouldn't that be great? Still working on that. But it was a nice thought and got me focused on purity a little more.

I think there's another view of allergies that stems from an oriental view of the body. It is that allergies are a natural side effect of a body whose systems are out of balance. Bad things happen when the body's communication system breaks down, when energy (the Chinese qi or chi) doesn't flow properly, when one or more parts of the body are neglected. And while I don't know of any good treatments along those lines (the Internet has a few claims that may or may not be true), I think this is a pretty good way of viewing our bodies to ensure proper health.

And so, jumping to spiritual matters once again, I thought that maybe the negative spiritual health we experience is sometimes brought about by a spiritual imbalance. Perhaps we sometimes seek after impurities because something is out of whack. An example I've found that impacts me both physically and spiritually is exercise. When I neglect to exercise, my health deteriorates and I also feel less sensitive to spiritual connections to God. I think the body, mind, and spirit are very tightly connected and what affects one will have an effect on the others. But whatever the stimulus, taking care of ourselves by balancing the needs of every part of us seems really important.

So I'll be searching for a bit more balance in the near future ... and hoping to be a little less sensitive.

Mauldin on Health Care

I read a weekly email from an economist named John Mauldin ... at least, I occasionally read it when I can find the time. I pulled from one of those letters for my previous post and I think I'd better do it again.

John had some very interesting things to say about health care that I think are an important contribution to the debate about how to handle the problems in our system. As he says near the end, the problems are more complex that most of us would like to admit.

John Mauldin, Economist

This post will be really long, but I couldn't cut it shorter and still convey the complexity of his ideas, so, refraining from further comment, here's what John has to say about health care.

... [my] good fiend Mark Yusko ... noted that an acquaintance of his, who was worth north of $10 million, had just had four stents put in his arteries. The hospital bill was $288,000. As he was over 65, Medicare paid everything. He paid nothing. Yet he is worth $10 million. I am not judging, by the way. My mother gets veteran benefits and Medicare, as well as Social Security. I will most likely take Medicare and Social Security when the time comes, if it is still there for me, even though I could afford not to. If my income were of the same stripe as Mitt Romney's, you can bet I would pay just 15% of it in taxes. Hold that thought.

On the same panel, Rich Yamarone said he had a stent put in last year. The bill was $90,000, and he was also nothing out of pocket, as insurance paid for it. His employer had paid for that insurance, so he used it. Just as I use my insurance when I need it. Hold that thought.

A good friend of mine recently had hip surgery, for a problem known of in advance by his insurance company. So they are not paying, saying it was pre-existing. And will not pay for the follow-up costs that are now looming, as it looks like he will need a full hip replacement. And he can't afford it. So he lives with steadily growing pain, while an attorney tries to get the insurance company to pony up. Hold that thought.

Two weeks ago my #2 daughter (in birth order - otherwise they are all #1) had some medical work done and mentioned a lump in her throat. The scan came back, and it was not good. The growths on her thyroid were almost as big as the thyroid. I called my doctor (Mike Roizen ...) and asked what to do, and he gave us a referral to what he said would be the best doctor in Dallas for this type of thing. We went to see him last Monday, thinking we would schedule a biopsy and hoping we could do it soon.

He said we could do a biopsy, but given the scan we already had, if it were his daughter he would remove the thyroid as soon as possible, whether or not the growth was malignant, and then do the biopsy. He had an opening a week later and she is scheduled for this coming Tuesday. Both he and Roizen agreed, and both told us the odds are quite high that it is benign, although complicated by the fact that Melissa's mother had thyroid cancer some 20 years ago.

Why talk about this with you? Here is the rest of the story. She is the one child I have with no insurance. I knew it and kept hoping she would get a job that included insurance. Now that looks like a bad economic choice.

I gently asked the doctor about costs. It was not as much as I feared, but definitely not cheap. As maybe in the mid-range of tens of thousands of dollars. His fee was the minor part. (I was actually surprised at how low as it was. I make more than that for an hour-long speech, and what skills and training do I have? Just saying.) But then he quietly said that the costs would go up a lot if it was malignant, as just the drugs to kill a thyroid cancer would be $25-30,000. The good news is that if it is a thyroid cancer, there is a proven therapy to beat it. Actually, the exact same treatment (radioactive iodine) as her mother had some 20 years ago.

I didn't bother to call other hospitals to negotiate a better price, or find a less expensive doctor. I simply had them schedule it. This is my daughter. It is her life, not a new car. Time seems to be of the essence. And life has blessed me that I can afford it.

But that's the point. How many people find themselves in that situation and their father can't step in? Or there is no father? You then go to a free clinic or an emergency room and try to get someone to help you, even though it's not an emergency. Or you put it off until it is an emergency, or it's too late.

Talk to your friends in the health-care world. And especially the nurses, who are the real soldiers on the front line. The stories they tell us about how broken our medical system is have shocked even me at times. And it is not just a system that has no money. It is a system that we expect to take care of all the needs that, in my youth, were considered as minor. And that is expected to take care of the homeless and the mentally unstable. Drug users. And a lot of people who do not take care of themselves with a simple, healthy diet and exercise, but expect full service when their bodies rebel, crowding out the service and driving up the costs for those who are in real need.

Medicare fraud? It costs us into the hundreds of billions. Doctors who test for everything because they are afraid of being sued if they miss something, running up costs sky-high? An unbelievable lack of technology in this day and age, because of government rules? Insurance and paperwork? Costs that are the highest in the world by a wide margin, yet no better outcomes?

And all staffed by amazing people who care a lot but are overwhelmed and caught up in a system they want to see changed.

The litany goes on and on. So, is the answer to simply to put hour heads down and accept the higher costs and rising taxes? Or let a bureaucracy control costs and require everyone to buy insurance, even if they can't afford it on the $15 an hour the average worker makes before taxes? Or let a "free" market somehow set the price of health care, working with private insurance and safety nets? All in a world of unlimited demand? Because when you or someone you love is sick or hurt, you want the best care you can get as soon as you can get it.

It seems simple. We need to have more-universal coverage. But there is a limit as to what any nation can afford. We look at countries with universal health care, but it is not something that many of us would be familiar with. Could we really ration health care at the end of life, which is where a large portion of our expense in the US goes? Or give up our right to sue if something goes wrong?

We have promised the Boomer generation more health care than we will be able to afford, without major reforms in what we spend our taxes on. And if we raise taxes enough to even come close to what we need, the shock to our economic body will mean recessions, higher unemployment, and fewer jobs which pay less.

.... There are no easy choices. As we will see, raising taxes has consequences in the short and medium term. The transition to where 30%, then 40%, of the economy will be taxes will be wrenching. If we can believe the polls, dialing back health care will not be popular. Raising taxes is no less popular. We want more health care, and we want someone else to pay for it. But there is no one else. It is just "we the people."

And what we do will define our job market for decades. There are no easy choices. We all marshal the "facts" as we see them to support our personal choices on jobs and health care, but it is far more complicated than most anyone wants to admit. There will be costs for whatever choices we make, even if we decide to do nothing at this time.

The Flu

It seemed like just another cold last Monday. I was congested and exhausted, but I was also freezing! Especially my legs - I just can't keep them warm enough. I thought that was weird, but every cold is a little different.

I gave it to Emily a few days later because we share everything. She had a massive sore throat and a slight fever. After telling the doctor all of this yesterday ... and remembering that I had had some muscle aches that I didn't really pay attention to, he told me I have the flu. So that's why I feel like I have 10 colds all at once.

He told me the coldness I feel was just a symptom of fever. I had the chills. I guess that made sense, but I've never felt chills like this before. He also told me I could be sick off and on for as long as four months. That was exciting.

I feel like hud, my brain is mostly disconnected, and I'm practically useless at work. I don't feel like moving, so I haven't made it in to work very much in the last week. The good news is my body does know how to kill this thing. The bad news is it may be a long battle.

But I'm enjoying some extra rest, taking some time to read, and spending a little extra time with my kids. None of them have been sick yet and I'm hoping it skips over them. Keeping my fingers crossed.

The Casts Are Gone

My son and I got our casts cut off last Monday. Same day. True story. The injuries were completely unrelated, so since they came off the same day, we thought we'd throw a cast-cutting party that night. We had friends over and had cake and ice cream. We probably don't need an excuse like that to celebrate, but whatever works. It felt good to be free of the cast.

I wasn't sure it was my leg I saw when the nurse cut the cast off. The calf had shrunken so small, it looked like a chicken leg. And my ankle was still swollen and so stiff that I could barely flex the joint. I now have a fashionable orthopedic boot to wear around town (for only $95). It looks something like the picture here. No, that's not my leg.

I'm slowly putting more weight on the foot when it's in the boot ... and yesterday, I was able to walk a little bit without my crutches! I'm very proud of myself. I am constantly amazed at the human body's ability to repair itself. I think it's miraculous that a bone can stitch itself back together and make itself almost as good as new.

My son's knee is still pretty stiff too, but it's starting to limber up a little. It's nice to have our bodies healing. My orthopedist has been really helpful, but once we're done with healing these injuries, I think we'll be done supporting our friendly local orthopedists for a while. Emily and I have outlawed broken bones in our family for the next few months.

Medical Costs

My family has recently incurred a lot of medical expenses. In the case of my son, we paid over a thousand dollars for an ER visit that resulted in the wrong diagnosis. They told us his knee was sprained when it turned out it was fractured and he needed surgery. Now, I'm not really upset with the ER; I'm sure they do the best they can. They have to deal with a wide spectrum of problems, so they can't afford to specialize too much; they're ridiculously overpriced because they're required by law to treat everyone regardless of their ability to pay; their one virtue is that they're always open, which is why my wife took my son that night. But the expenses have got me thinking more about the reason for those high costs.

When was the last time you went to the doctor and saw a price sheet posted for various examinations, tests, and procedures? Have you ever seen a menu like that published by a medical practitioner? I've heard of a few scattered practices that cater to cash-paying customers who do things like that, but I've never seen one myself. Have you ever asked a doctor after he prescribes a procedure or a medication how much that treatment will cost? Or whether there are less expensive alternatives? I have. The doctors usually don't know. This is an industry that has become unconscious of price and I think I know why.

The unstated argument seems to be that health is more important than money. Now I would agree in general, but only "for the most part". If I had to pay a million dollars to fix an ingrown toenail, I would probably pass. Everything has a price. My own life is not worth a billion dollars and I would not think of saddling my family, or society, with a bill like that just to extend my own little life for an indeterminate amount of time. So that argument can't be universally true.

Given that, I think we have become far too complacent regarding the cost of medical treatment. If there is no awareness of cost, there can be no consumer-driven pressure to keep prices low. On the contrary, we typically accept whatever treatment doctors prescribe because they know more than we do and we are fearful of doing something that will negatively affect our health. And because insurance is there to bail us out, we don't worry about the cost. And then we wonder why our premiums go through the roof year after year.

So, the first reason that costs have become so ridiculous in the medical industry is because of the prevalence of insurance and the absence of mind this safety net gives the consumer, leading us to be unaware of cost. The insurance industry largely takes away the individual consumer's natural incentive to minimize his/her individual costs. Interestingly, we are seeking to fix the problem in my country by expanding the influence of this insurance industry, which is one of the causes of the problem. I have a great deal of sympathy for those who can't afford necessary medical procedures, but I'm afraid we're making the problem worse at a time when we can hardly afford to do so.

The second big reason I see is the impact of medical lawsuits. We love our lawsuits in this nation and so many precedents have been set for malpractice that doctors are forced to prescribe anything and everything that might help the condition of the patient and limit their own legal liability if anything should go wrong under their watch. And of course, the doctors know more than we do, so we accept their advice, unconscious of cost, and undertake every procedure, every test, and every medication they prescribe thinking they are acting in our best interests. No doubt most of them are trying to do exactly that, but they are a bit hemmed in by all the legal precedents.

Related to that are the costs of malpractice insurance that every doctor has to have to avoid the risk of going out of business when slapped with a multi-million dollar lawsuit. Every time you go to the doctor, you're subsidizing those insurance premiums, which are necessary thanks to the army of lawyers who have helped to take money out of the system.

I have no doubt that there are many legitimate malpractice cases and some people, whose lives have been damaged or ruined because of the negligence of medical professionals, should justifiably be compensated. But I believe there have been far more suits over the years that have not been justified and have led to the necessity and high premiums of this interesting form of insurance and have served to cage doctors in to some extend in what they prescribe out of fear of a lawsuit.

There are high costs associated with both of these factors, but it seems to me that if consumers would become conscious of the medical costs they incur and seek to minimize their own costs, it would go a long way to keeping those nosebleed costs in check.

I'm afraid I have little hope that will happen in the current environment. But maybe I'm wrong.

Since writing the above, we've received bills for my initial orthopedist visit and my son's surgery.

• Total cost of surgery: about $22K. No kidding.
• Most ridiculous item in my opinion: almost $200 for some pre-surgery medication ... two pain pills.

• Total cost of my visit: about $1500.
• Most ridiculous item: about $1100 to set my ankle. This consisted of the doctor painfully forcing my ankle into position while the nurse cast it. The cost of the casting material was separate.

The lady in charge of the billing at that office told me that about half of that $1100 would go to pay for malpractice insurance premiums. For insurance purposes, that setting was basically considered the same as surgery and any complications that arose from it could potentially subject their office to malpractice suits. I really am in awe of the miracles of modern medicine, but I think we've broken the medical industry with selfishness and greed.

Update on Broken Bones

My son had surgery yesterday and it went well. It took hours, though - significantly longer than anyone thought it would. But at the end, the surgeon was pleased with it and our son's recovery will consist of one week with an immobilizer brace to prevent him from bending his knee ... and a lot of ice. My wife bought a special knee cuff that connects to a motor-driven pressurized water cooler. This cuff gets ice water pumped through it to routinely cool the knee to prevent painful swelling. Much more comfortable for the boy and easier to remember to keep applying the ice because the motor does it for us. This fun little toy wasn't covered by insurance, but thankfully we've been saving money for medical expenses for a few years using a Health Savings Account, so we felt free to buy the luxury item believing it would make our son more comfortable. It seems to be working.

He'll go back to the doctor in a week where he'll get a fun new cast for about three more weeks. If things are going well, I think we'll be just about done and he'll be able to get back to a semi-normal life. I'm not really sure what a normal life is; hence the qualifier. It wasn't a complicated procedure and the surgery was orthoscopic, so there is less risk of infection and other complications and should make for an easier recovery. I'm really thankful for modern medicine; however, I'm sure our medical costs are going to be out of this world in the first month of the new year. Medical expertise is very expensive and there was a lot of it brought to bear on my son. With the materials and medicines used, I'm guessing we've passed our deductible already.

Then there's my ankle. I went to the doctor today and he gave me a choice. There is a gap in my bone where it was fractured, which means it will take longer to heal if we don't do surgery. That may mean I end up in a cast for closer to 8 weeks instead of 6. It could be even longer, I suppose. However, surgery has risks associated with it that a cast doesn't. With the ankle as it currently stands (sort of), he's confident it will heal well, but will take longer to fill in the gap with bone tissue. The crack is in my fibula and the X-ray shows a nice clear break near where the talus and the tibia join. I always learn a little more about my body each time I injure myself.

I opted for the longer route to health without the surgery. Hopefully it will heal in a reasonable amount of time, but even if it doesn't, I'm getting used to getting around on crutches; colleagues have been very solicitous and flexible, and I hope this gives me more excuses to spend time with my family. :) It looks like our family continues to be blessed and I'm grateful for bodies that heal themselves and for medical experts who help us out when the body just can't seem to repair itself alone. My son and I will be on crutches for several weeks more and I think we'll get a lot of good laughs out of watching peoples' reactions as we hobble around.

Tibial Spine Fracture

About a week after I fractured my ankle, my son slammed his knee on the floor of the basketball court as he was practicing with his team. My wife, with images of bone fractures fresh in her mind, took him to the emergency room where they told her that he had sprained his knee. They gave him some crutches and he has been hobbling around ever since, waiting for the sprain to heal and the swelling to go down. Neither seemed to be happening, so my wife took him to the orthopedist today and apparently he fractured his tibial spine. There's a piece of the bone that refuses to get back in place and they're going to have to do orthoscopic surgery to tack it down. How many broken bones do we need in this family? Apparently at least two right now.

His surgery will be this Thursday and I'll find out on Friday whether my ankle needs surgery. This is surreal. When our family walked/limped into church on Sunday, we made a pretty big impression with two of us being on crutches. We thought at the time that the smaller pair was supporting a sprain, but now it looks like we'll both be on crutches for several more weeks. My poor boy has his whole leg cast, but it sounds like he's handling it well so far. He's disappointed he won't be able to play basketball for the rest of the season. That really stinks because he was just starting to get the game figured out and he has been their top scorer so far. He was planning to play soccer this spring and now it looks like that isn't going to happen either. I'm glad he has a good attitude about it, though. He's a great kid! I just feel bad for him and hope his attitude stays healthy through the next few weeks.

Fractured Ankle

Last week, my kids and I were sledding down our driveway and I made a bad move. I was skating down the driveway, picking up speed, planted my foot in a patch where the ice was thin on top, and toppled over with my foot stuck in the position in which it was planted. I was pretty sure I had sprained it ... until Sunday afternoon. It had swollen and bruised pretty much like I expected it would with a sprain, but Sunday I noticed a bruise creeping up the side of my leg. That didn't seem like a sprain. So I went to the doctor yesterday, pretty confident I had fractured it. Turns out, I REALLY fractured it. There were three cracks, all connected, but in different directions. To me, the X-ray looks like the crack had the shape of a 'U' and I think the doctor said the fracture was in the talus, but I'm a stranger to anatomy, so ... whatever. I know I fractured a bone.

I was surprised to find out the fracture was serious enough that he thought it was likely I would need surgery. Oh well. He said we could try to cast it and see if it healed properly, but if it didn't work, surgery would be inevitable. So, he cast it for me yesterday, caused me quite a bit of pain, for which I thanked him ... did another X-ray and said it looks good so far, and then sent me home with instructions to elevate it, prescription for an anti-inflammatory, etc. I should know in about two weeks whether the bone is healing properly. If it's not, I'll be getting a plate in my ankle, which might make those airport scans more fun. I'll have to ask him if he thinks it'll be enough to trigger those stupid metal detectors.

So my life has slowed down a little bit, which could be a good thing. I'm enjoying a little more rest than I'm used to, but I still have to keep up with work and I'm going to attempt to get in to work tomorrow to teach my first class of the semester. I'm excited for that! I just hope I can make this work with my newfound disability.

Measles for Christmas

Christmas has been a hit so far! I love this holiday. My kids had so much fun opening presents and I loved the looks on their faces when they opened some of their favorites. We talked last night about the reasons we open presents and I tried to convey to them the joy of giving in addition to the joy of getting. Some of them definitely got the message. Some of them definitely didn't. :)

We had an early Christmas present yesterday. Our youngest woke up covered in red spots and they're worse today. We think she has the measles. Hooray! Merry Christmas! They don't seem to be bothering her too much yet, but I think it's funny that she got such a unique illness at such a perfect time.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas! Merry Christmas, everyone!

Fever

My youngest child had a fever yesterday. She was at least 102 degrees at one point and was like a little furnace in my arms. I love how my children want to cuddle when they get sick, but I hate seeing them miserable. I held her for quite a while as she burned the virus to a crisp. She is so precious. Holding her like that tugged my heart in two very different directions. Thankfully, she's feeling much better today. The fever lasted about a day and a half. She slept a lot more than normal during that time and was generally pretty lethargic and miserable. It's nice to have her back to full health, but I do miss the extra cuddling. Thankfully, she's given me a few hugs this evening to make up for it! She really is an angel.