Transfer at Work

A couple weeks ago, I transferred to a different division at work. My old group was full of really good people, but the larger organization was a bit unhealthy. It had really worn on me and I had become so burned out that I felt I needed to do something radically different. I am SO HAPPY to be in a new group with a bunch of people I know and respect. I've worked with many of them off and on over the years and I'm really excited to be part of their team.

Since the transfer took place, I've been taking some time off to regroup, refocus, and reconnect with my family. It's been really good so far. I've done a lot of cooking, exercising, thinking, meditating, sleeping, and talking and playing with my wife and kids.

As I've been thinking, I've discovered that I like many of the things I do at my job, but I think what really gets me going is the idea of being an architect. I enjoy gathering requirements, technology gaps, etc and coupling them with capabilities. I like architecting solutions to customers' problems. I probably need to find a way to do more of that.

I'm grateful to have a job that gives me the flexibility to take so much time off. It has been really helpful to have a break to decompress and spend time with my family. I think family is the most important thing in my life anyway.

Music, My Stress Reliever

The last few weeks have been really intense for me. I picked up some new responsibilities at work and they have been consuming me. There have been a few times in my life when my mind has become so saturated with a single topic that I find myself thinking about it almost constantly. Trying to finish my research for my Ph.D. was one of those times. I remember dreaming about solving equations. Sometimes those dreams were very helpful. In fact, being so consumed by something usually made me extremely efficient in accomplishing whatever it was I was trying to accomplish.

Learning German was another example of this. I lived the language so much that I began to dream in German. That's when I knew I was succeeding. When I got in the groove, I made a lot of progress learning the language.

Recently, I've become consumed by these new responsibilities at work in a similar way. I've found myself dreaming about the issues I'm dealing with. Although I feel like I'm getting in the groove and I feel hopeful that I'll get my hands around this new job, I'm also becoming a bit too stressed. It's hard to focus on other important things; I'm getting less sleep; and my patience is a little thinner than it should be. I snapped at one of my children today and he definitely didn't deserve it. Thankfully I apologized right away and he was really mature about it.

So, like many other times in my life, I've found myself turning to music for release. I've pulled out my guitar a couple times lately and have really enjoyed belting out some favorites songs. I recently played in a variety show at my church with a good friend - we played and sang 'Sounds of Silence' by Simon and Garfunkel. That was a blast!

And yesterday, on my way home from a business trip, I turned up the music on my iPod and cycled through my favorite music almost the entire plane ride home. Really helpful after an extremely long and busy week. I also watched parts of 'Les Miserables' again on the plane, fast forwarding to my favorites songs. Once again, some of the music brought tears to my eyes and the emotional release was great! I think I counted five songs that got the tears going: 'On My Own', 'A Little Fall of Rain', 'Empty Chairs at Empty Tables', and 'Valjean's Death' and 'Epilogue' - though the last two, I really consider to be a single song. And it's probably my favorite.

I think I'm in for a roller coaster ride at work for a few more weeks before I see things settle down to a stable operating point. In addition to music, I've found prayer, meditation, exercise, and family to be helpful in maintaining my balance and sanity. Hopefully I can maintain that balance well enough that I don't damage the more important things (e.g. relationships) in favor of something less important (my job). Wish me luck!

Expert Witness

I recently had the opportunity to serve as an expert witness in a criminal case and it was a VERY interesting experience! I was able to share some of my expertise with the attorney who retained me, but the best part for me was that I learned a little more about the history and philosophy behind common law and got a feel for the judicial process. I won't give too many details of the case in a publicly available blog, but I'll share some high level points here for anyone who might be interested.

The defendant was being charged with a crime based on a specific statute. His attorney thought the statute could be challenged and asked me to help him look at the law, define some terms, explain some technical details of how certain systems work, and help him develop a case to challenge the law. In doing this, I came to learn a little more about the litmus test that a law must pass for a court of law to uphold the law. The attorney I worked with seemed to enjoy explaining the details, which was great because I had lots of questions.

The most important thing I took away from that discussion was the need for the law to clearly and consistently define what is legal and what is not. If the statute is easily misinterpreted, it can be struck down because it can be seen as reaching too far or trampling on constitutional rights. The value of common law, or law based on judicial precedent, seems to be a certain consistency throughout the laws over time.

Apparently, the history of common law is quite extensive. He gave me a notional example of a law against breaking and entering that may have had terms in the law challenged and defined by courts back in the 12th century. This was notional; I have no idea how I would trace the history of a law against breaking and entering. But the example he gave was a law against breaking and entering after dark with the intent to steal ... and then someone charged with a violation of the law questioning whether "dark" applied to sunset. And maybe that guy was acquitted, but in acquitting him, the court would be taking a step in defining what that term means in the law so it's more clear the next time the law is used in court.

I'm a total novice when it comes to law, so take what I've said above with a grain of salt. I looked into going to law school many years ago with the idea that I could become a patent attorney. I could make a heck of a lot more money that way, but it didn't take me long to realize I wouldn't enjoy that field. I'd rather be happy than rich.

But lately, philosophy of law has been more interesting to me. I still don't think I would enjoy practicing law, but I'm interested in proper methods of governance. I'm interested in the healthy tension between order and freedom. I'm interested in finding the sweet spot in a system of law that discourages behaviors in individuals that trample on others' freedoms without taking away too much individual freedom by force of law. As an engineer, I solve a lot of optimization problems and seeking to maximize freedom in a system of law seems like an optimization problem to me. It just doesn't seem like one I'm really capable of completely solving because of the complexity of human nature. But even if I can't find a 'best' solution, maybe I can find some principles that govern what makes a really good solution.

I'm also interested in optimizing success in commercial organizations. I've been thinking a lot about corporate governance lately and trying to figure out what kind of organizational and incentive structures would maximize the probability of success in a place of business. The answer to that organizational design question will depend on the nature of the business, the collective values of the employees, the values of the customers, etc. But the first thing to do in this problem is define what we mean by success. That's a philosophical question that must be answered before any kind of organizational engineering takes place. For me, 'freedom' is about the closest definition of success I can think of for a legal system, but for other organizations, while freedom is probably an essential element of success, it probably isn't sufficient unto itself.

When I have the answers to all these questions, I'll let you know. :) I don't expect to completely solve those problems before I die, but that's what makes them so interesting to me.

In the case I described above, the defendant was offered a pretty nice plea bargain deal at the last minute, so the case never went to trial. In a way, it was satisfying to have helped create a case that rattled the confidence of the prosecution enough that they offered a plea bargain, but it was also a bit disappointing, after having geared up for a fight, to be let down like that. If I were in the defendant's position, I would have done the same thing, but it was frustrating that he had to accept any kind of sentence. In my mind, he really didn't do anything wrong. Of course, I've learned that law and justice aren't necessarily the same thing, but it's still disappointing to see something like that.

So we didn't get to really challenge the law, which is a shame because I think the law, which had good intention, really should be struck down and rewritten. But this man finally has some resolution on this issue and I think he got a pretty good deal. So I'm happy for him.

Report to the President

I had the opportunity a few months ago to contribute to a report that was submitted to the President today. That was kind of fun!

Image from PCAST website - used under the Fair Use Clause

For those of you interested in spectrum sharing, cognitive radio, and other geeky topics, take a look at the report on the white house website. Ok, so my name doesn't appear until page 92, but I'm happy about it. :)

Busy Times

I enjoy working on this blog, but I haven't had much time lately. I knew this would be a busy time, but I couldn't do much about it. In the last several months, I have been teaching a college course, working long hours on other projects, dealing with a broken leg, and getting a house ready to sell. Ok, Emily has done most of the work on the house, but I've put in a good number of hours too. We listed our house recently and now are keeping busy searching for a new house, trying to figure out neighborhoods, schools, churches, commutes, etc. This isn't the busiest I've ever been, but it reminds me of some of those busy periods in my life and makes me grateful for the times when life slows down and I have more time to enjoy my family and other little pleasures.

A few years ago, we bought this house about two weeks before a new semester started. Dealing with a relatively new job, a demanding college course that I shouldn't have taken even in good times, a new commute that I had underestimated, and a very pregnant wife with two small children ... was more than I thought I could handle at times. And it probably was, but thankfully God helps me grow during those demanding times and I find myself able to handle things I never thought I could. The worst (and best) part of that time was the delivery of a baby a couple weeks before the final. We felt good about moving to a new house, but there were times I questioned my sanity on the timing of some of my choices.

I've enjoyed the last few months a lot, but I look forward to the end of the semester and the chance to have life come back to normal ... just a little bit. And if things go well, we'll speed life up again when we pack up and move to a new house. I don't want things to get too boring.

Overworked

I've been focused too much on work lately. Business has been great and although I much prefer that to the alternative, it sure makes it difficult to balance other priorities.

Thankfully my children have been very understanding and supportive. We've had some time on weekends to play and although the work week gets very long, they seem to be ok with it as long as I wrestle with them, tickle them, and play with them on Saturday and Sunday and occasionally on weekday evenings when possible. My kids are so fun to play with.

And Emily is a gem. She has been so supportive of all the time I've spent away from her lately and really sweet to welcome me home with a smile and a kiss every night instead of a guilt trip. Thanks, pretty lady. Remind me to pay you back later.

Business goes in cycles. This crazy period won't last forever. I just need to keep my focus on the important things and fight through the busy time.

Excellence

One of my employer's organizational values is 'Excellence'. I've never thought much about it until recently, but I've realized it's a very important value to me personally. I have been expressing the concept to myself as: 'if I'm going to spend my time and energy doing something, I might as well do it well ... or at least give it my best.' If I'm going to go to work 40 or so hours a week, that's a significant investment of my time, and I might as well do the best I can during the time that I'm there. If I don't, what the heck am I doing there? If I'm going to be a husband and father, going to all that work to build a relationship with a wonderful woman and working hard to create and nurture new life with her, I might as well do the best I can with those relationships and, during the time I'm with them, give my best to them. If I'm going to participate in church, community, school, or other volunteer activities, I might as well do the best I can in planning, organizing, executing, and enjoying those activities. When I don't give these and other areas of my life the best I can offer, what is the point in investing my time and energy in them? If I do less than my best, those activities tend to become empty and meaningless and I would be better off dropping them from my life altogether.

So, here's one of the things that's been near the front of my mind for several years now - especially since many of those years have been so crowded with responsibilities. If we divide our time and energy among too many activities, we won't have enough invested in any of them to make any of them successful. We won't have achieved 'critical mass' in any area to make sparks fly and make magic happen. If that happens, we're in danger of having a totally meaningless existence since we can't do our best in any of the areas with which we engage. Once again, we're better off dropping a few things and investing enough in the remaining activities to make most or all of them successful. Otherwise, what the heck are we doing playing around with them in the first place?

On the flip side, if we focus all our energies on very few tasks, we may do them exceptionally well, to the point of being obsessed with perfection, and waste our resources when they could have had a broader impact. I've experienced both of these extremes and I have to say I am much happier and feel more fulfilled when I can find that balance of 'excellence' between the extremes of spreading myself so thin that I fail and focusing so narrowly that I become obsessed with perfection.

Cell Phones

Last week, I turned my cell phone off, put it away, and forgot about it. It was a wonderful feeling! I don't like cell phones. I can't really explain why. I put off buying one until about two years ago. I finally broke down and joined the club because I was at a point in my job where people were having a hard time getting in touch with me because I was almost never at my desk. Rather than compromise my work by lack of communication, I relented and bought a phone with a pay-as-you-go plan. I knew I wouldn't use it a lot; I just needed a lifeline to get me in touch with people occasionally.

Well, I think I'm at a point in my job where things have settled down enough that I can put the phone away. So last week, I tried it! And it worked great! It wasn't a decision I made beforehand. I just woke up one morning and decided I was sick of the phone being with me all the time. So I unplugged. This is probably a good time to apologize to any of you who may have tried to call me and couldn't reach me. If it's business, call my office. If it's personal, call me at home. If it's so important that you can't wait until it's convenient for me to respond, you're going to have to find someone else to talk to.

I work in the field of wireless communications. Most of the time, when I tell people that, they say, 'oh, like cell phones?' and I say 'sure' because it's usually not worth explaining to people what I actually do. But even though I don't work directly with cell phones, I think it's funny that I don't like cell phones. I work in a field that helps to enable them, but I don't like the application. I really like the math, the physics, the signal processing, and the communication theory. I also like electromagnetics and wave theory. But I don't like cell phones.

While we're on the subject, let me try to give a brief description of what it is I do professionally. I enjoy developing the theory of new ideas in wireless communications. I do a lot of simulation to test such ideas and I also play with hardware testbeds to implement them in real environments. Though my work is mostly applied to wireless communications, much of it has broader potential application. As far as wireless comm goes, cell phones are one obvious application and the biggest commercial one, but there are others. One domain my group and I are looking at more is wireless sensor networks. Their applications include biological/medical, structural monitoring, agricultural monitoring, and many others.

I have done a lot of work with multiple-input multiple-output (MIMO) communications in which the transmitter and receiver both have more than one antenna. You can get really nice data rates with systems like that if you do it right. There's a lot more you can do there, but that's one of the nicest benefits. I've also done a lot with statistical channel modeling and channel sounding where we send a signal through a channel and, using statistical analysis, try to figure out characteristics of the channel that are important to model. This has applications to tools for validating that a system meets specifications and also for system design. In order to design a waveform and a transmitter/receiver architecture, you need to know what kind of channels your system may be subject to so you can deal with them properly.

Other areas of my research include co-channel interference mitigation and signal detection. Interference can come from trying to put too many users in the same slice of spectrum. Signal detection is trying to find out there's a signal out there and then figuring out where it falls in time, frequency, and other dimensions. Mostly I just love math and signal processing and the area I most often apply those domains to is wireless communications ... and yet I don't like cell phones.

Now that you know far more than you ever wanted to know about my professional interests, I hope you'll understand why, when people ask me what I do, I simply say, 'I do research' and sometimes I'll add, '... in wireless communications.' That's about as far as most people are interested in taking the conversation. And that's ok with me.